I Knew It Felt Like More Than Distance Between Us
As she exited the room in a ghostly manner, loving the fact she could walk through walls and nearly anything, she broke into a run and -- before she knew it -- she was already at his doorstep.
"Ha, I'm never going to get use to the fact that if i think about a place for too long I instantly flash there," Annie giggled.
Bubbling over with excitement, Annie glided over to Nathan's side of the house and took a deep breath. Even though he was the love of her life--and afterlife, Annie interjected into her thought sequence--she wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend so she never told her mom she liked him. its not like Shan would care enough to bend the rules of the dating policy that Shan had set up herself, and just let her date him. She would probably even make sure Annie never saw Nathan again! Though its not like Annie could blame Shan if she did that anyway, a 16 year old boy saying things like i love you and i can't wait to marry you to an innocent 13 year old girl seems kind of fake doesn't it? But Annie believed with all her heart that Nathan truly loved her, she would of never guessed.
Annie took a calming breath and silently slid into his bedroom, laying eyes upon him immediately. She melted a little on the inside, his soft brown eyes shifted towards her location for a moment as if sensing another presence but paying no attention. He was texting, with a big goofy grin on his face, the same one he always gave her when he last saw her, seeing that grin made her heart practically dripping with he undying love for him.
Then she paused and her whole body went numb, why would he be giving that goofy grin when she wasn't the one talking to him? She didn't even have her phone, nor was it or any of her appliances turned on so that it would seem like she was on facebook or skype! Her heart hardened and sharpened, stabbing her like glass.
She floated over, slowly, not really ware of what was truly happening. Could Nathan be cheating on me? she asked herself, but reassured herself it couldn't happen, she was beside of him but couldn't bring herself to look in his direction. Her eyes landed on the mirror, plain and boring to most but to her it was amazing, it got to see the wonderful and kind brown eyes she yearned to look into every single day.
She turned to him, but not directly at him, at the phone. He was actually chatting, not texting like she had assumed, but obviously he wasn't chatting her. He was chatting another chick, Nathan was chatting a girl named Irama.
Normally, she would be fine, ecstatic even, about him talking to other people, even if it was a girl, since Nathan usually tried to block himself from socializing. But this was a totally different scenario. He was sending this Irama chick the same things he sent her, and more, more 'I love you's then he even sent Annie in a day. He was typing a message to her at that very moment even saying, "I love you more than i love anything else, you mean so much to me, you're beauty so radiant it just fills the room with its glow and my heart with pure happiness, don't ever leave me. I can't wait to see you tomorrow, i have a present for our month anniversary. i'll give it to you 3 days early though if you beg you wonderful girl." Annie and Nathan had been in love for 2 months officially two days before this date, well what she had felt was in love but what was obviously not. Nathan was cheating on her, she looked into his brown eyes.
The glass in the mirror broke.
It shattered, just like Annie's heart.
She flashed into her own house not knowing where else to go, but knowing she had to go somewhere else. That she had to gi far from there. Those shattered pieces of mirror being cleaned up were never going to see Nathan's soft brown eyes, his cheating lying scumbag eyes, and reflect them and hold them in their selves--just like the pieces of Annie's heart.
She cried and cried, empty tears of despair, no water trickled from her eyes but she cried on, she didn't want to kill herself really. she just wanted to be with him all the time. She had thought that, if she died, he would eventually kill himself because he lost someone who meant so much to him, but apparently she would be flying solo since he was cheating on her and therefore didn't need to do anything for someone who doesn't mean much to him--especially not kill himself.
She should have guessed it, he had been pretty distant lately. He never spelled out 'I love you,' only sending ily's or i luv ya 2's. She didn't voice her concerns at the time, but before he always spelled it out. He wouldn't even call her beautiful anymore, he would just say 'hey there' when she was use to 'hey there beautiful.' It was like Rhianna had said in that one song:
So confused, want to ask you if you love me! But I don't want to seem so weak .. Maybe i was California dreaming?
But this wasn't dreaming it was real life, she was dead, the person she truly loved was cheating on her, and she will never be able to undo her life-ending stupid decision. She should of known there was more than distance between them, now one was dead and one wasn't, and now that one won't be able to experience the craziness of high school, the wonders of marriage, the pains of child labor, and the miraculous journey of her children growing up--just because of that one stupid decision.
"Dang all to Hell."
