Standstill

Part 1

“Anyone who lives in her own world is crazy.”

-Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die

It was 6:30 in the evening. The girl went up her route, taking the same one she took when going to school.

She crossed the bridge to get to the nearest bus station. When a bus came, it was already full but she had to choose either to wait another fifteen minutes or stand grazing sweats with strangers. She was already ten minutes late so she chose the latter.

After a few minutes, a kindly woman offered to share seats. I should’ve just stood up, she thought. Her bottom was fighting for the tiny spot in the seat. Her fists were clenched, and pulling through her jeans. Her Chucks were crushing the wooden floorboard. And the tip of her earphones was digging a hole in her pelvis. To top it all, she couldn’t breathe because of the lack of space; her self-diagnosed claustrophobia completely compromised, and her face was an inch away from a man’s jean zipper. She had to endure all of these because she wanted to talk to this boy so bad.

It took her thirty excruciating minutes to hop off the bus. It took another five for the jeep ride that would finally take her to where he was. When she alighted, she looked around for a short while until she saw him standing under a lamppost that casted an orange glow in his fair face.

Man, you’re majestic.

She couldn’t put her mind into thinking if it was her myopia or he really just exuded an ethereal glow. He was wearing his favorite black-sleeved three-fourths, paring it with classic blue jeans, and his shoes, the black-and-white ones which was her favorite. He didn’t notice her though so she just continued to walk up. She gathered up all the courage she can to be natural around him, but her luck must’ve ran out because her eyes started to fidget.

Finally he noticed her.

“Hi!” He smiled.

“Hi,” she looked up at him and looked back down again, trying to avoid eye contact. “I’m late.”

“That’s okay. I’m used to it.”

“Well, you’re not an early person too.” They were walking around the oval, heading for the nearest jeep station. The girl punched her eye because it was betraying her. She knew that this only happened whenever she smiled a lot. But that night, she wasn’t just smiling to be nice; she was smiling because she was delighted. As for Mr. Man, upon noticing that the girl inconspicuously slapped her eye, he also hid an inconspicuous smile. It didn’t work out for him though because the girl noticed his teeth from the corner of her eyes.

They were at the waiting shed for fifteen minutes, talking every once in a while just to fill in the silence. The chilly January breeze provoked romantic thoughts from both parties but they didn’t have the strength to act on it so they stood a few meters apart; not too close and not too far -just the way they’ve always been all those years.

When the jeep arrived, he allowed her to go first. The space inside allowed both of them to be seated together. Once he was done paying for their fare, the man was straining his head, thinking of things to say to the girl who looked like she just battled heaven and hell to get to where he was.

He couldn’t think of any at all.

What was he going to say? He wanted to tell her that she was exquisitely beautiful. He wanted to tell her that if only the stars allowed him to take her anywhere in the universe, he would. He wanted to say many beautiful things that would definitely make her eyes sparkle. He wanted to take her in his arms and smell her hair. And her smile, he could tell she was trying to hide it. But why? Why was she trying to hide one of the most enchanting things about her -the part of her that made her look like an angel?

The girl looked at him. He looked like he was up in space, but she couldn’t say anything either. Man, could this get any harder? “Uhm. Yeah. I forgot to tell you. I told my friends we were going to see each other in case you do something to me, like assault me or something, you’d be the first suspect.”

“Harass you? Not a chance missy.”

“That was what you were trying to do even before we knew each other!”

“Yeah before I knew you. Then I knew you and I don’t want to anymore!” They both laughed at how much change time has brought. Lots of things happened since the day they dreaded acting a love story. It was a remark not to be taken seriously because both of them knew the other had quirks that they adored about each other.

The vehicle accelerated bringing a rush of wind that was cold to the skin. The man asked, “are you cold?”

“A little.”

“Do you want me to put my arm around you?”

The girl didn’t reply but she scooted a little closer. She turned her back on him, and faced the window while the man slowly and gently placed his arms on her shoulders.

“I hope this does something.”

It did. Although it didn’t bring the warmth they were trying to transmit, it brought the rush of blood the girl was trying to avoid. Her heart was beating so fast. And she didn’t notice that her breathing was getting rigid. But the man didn’t notice; his head was still up somewhere thinking how in the world he will make this night extraordinary.

They didn’t talk for quite a while. The stillness of the night was quite enough to make them feel safe and happy. If there was such a thing as content and fulfillment, they found it both at that moment. But the jeep halted, they had to go down. But lo, there shall be more to this soon.