Chapter 1: Packing the Unpacked Picnic Basket for the Picnic
At 0800 hours, I had the most amazing dream, I dreamt I was in bed dreaming about an amazing dream! Pretty gosh darn amazing. Pretty amazing, right? So amazing that I was amazed by the amazing amount of amazing things happening within this amazing dream! Anyway, I woke up dead and decided to have a picnic as I was feeling homosexual. As I was too scared to go on this picnic alone, I decided to murder my family to help me get over my fear and by jolly it worked. I unpacked the packed picnic basket and left my house to go on my picnic. On my way to nowhere, I saw a pelican smashing its face of the pavement for being too intelligent for this world, due to the pure shock of seeing this magical creature hurting itself, I decided to join in. I swung and swung and swung and swung and then finally, I completely missed the pelican with my picnic basket and it flew over to the other side of the road and it smashed a child in the face. "OH MY GOD" I exclaimed! My fucking picnic basket! I ran over to check on the status of my wooden, picnic content holder to confirm if it was a faggot. It was... heterosexual. I exclaimed to the near death child, "Who the fuck do you think you are? I was on my jolly way, off to a romantic picnic by myself with my firm picnic basket and you thought to be the funny guy and stand in the way of my furious and rampaging picnic basket! You little shit! I outta shit on your shit right now, you fucking sandwich cunt! You better limp 5 metres within minus 6 minutes or else Ima fuck your ass up!" Truthfully, I gave him 7 milliseconds before I caned his bare arse cheeks. He then died from a rare infection which you get when your arse has been caned, this infection is referred to as "CanedArseCheek." Pretty orginal, huh?
Chapter 2: Lost but On Track
I was a wanted fox after conjugation with the pelican, I had to go into hiding. But then I realized I lift and I'm known to release skillshots which are illegal in 7 countries. If any law enforcers see me, they better pray to god that my KDR ratio is good or else I will butt fuck them till the days end. Anyway, I jaywalked across 'The Street' where I met a young goat, I claimed it as mine as I can claim goats whenever I want, any who disagrees with me will get a plastic bat to the knee. This new companion of mine will now be known as Jeff, Lord of Destruction. We will become unstoppable, we shall lower mountains, destroy monuments, enslave the entire human race...this would of happened if I hadn't had slit his throat and ate him immediately. "Oh well" I said sadly. I guess I will continue to the picnic destination on my own. I took one brave step forward and BAM! I was at my destination. "Huzzah" I shouted quitely, I have defeated the evil Shiba and now own this fine land. I will enjoy my succulent food with the fine stench of Jeff invading my nostrils. I opened my basket and suprisely there was nothing within the box. I was depressed. I had travelled for over a century to enjoy my out of date, whole meat sandwich, but it seems it just wasn't meant to be. I pulled a revolver out of my left pocket. I loaded it with 1 nerf pellet. Pointed the gun at my head and pulled the trigger. My head imploded and my brain matter flew across and splated Jeff's lifeless body, which magically brought him back to life. But unfortunately for him, it was hunting season and a couple of conveniently placed Rednecks killed him. I whispered to my penis, "Oh well." I then died from old age.
Ze End.
