| Letters to you || Yoonmin |

~epilogue~

Hey there Chim, it's hyung...

(I'm never going to show you this. Over my dead body.)

Do you remember back when we were kids? When you were head over heels in love with me? For a reason neither you nor I can remember? You used to follow me around like it I was the only thing worth following on the playground and in the classroom. Good times, good times...

But, like all good times, it came to an end. You and I went to different high schools and eventually we grew apart without the intention to. You made new friends, I stayed with the ones that came with me, in the same school - but I made new friends since they were inevitable. I wondered how you were a lot... wondered if you missed me as much as I missed you...

And then as if by magic you came back to me, only then you weren't exactly mine anymore. By then you'd found a girl who got the chance to love you more than just a friend... and she's wonderful...

It hurts, seeing you look at her as if she has a thousand galaxies tucked in her pupils; like the stars are embedded in her eyes...

And in the most selfish, self centred way... I really wish you'd look at me with even the slightest bit of the affection you look  her with... because I remember when you used to look at me like that... and only me...

You won't remember though...

I could point out a thousand of her tantalizing, annoying flaws and you'd still brush them aside as if they meant nothing to you... as much as I hate to admit it, as much as it pains me to say... she holds a place above me, and I couln't do anything about it because if I did... I might've just deprived you of happiness I didn't have the right to take away...

I think I denied it for a long time before I ever really thought of saying it. I didn't even want to think about it when I first started speculating because it was so on the edge of absurd, so unbelievable and out of the blue. None of it to even began to make sense but in a way...it did... and it killed because it was true and I didn't want it to be true...

Now, years and years on, I hope I can say it and not bawl out in tears. Once in my life, when we were young, stupid, hormonal teenagers... you held place in my heart so dear, I wrote a book about it... one I don't believe you'll ever find or even remember any of its contents.

I put you up so high on a pedestal that I forgot you were my friend, and looked at you like you were more than just that. I kept telling myself you were slipping away, and that I was jealous because I was used to being the only one you laid eyes on for so long... kept telling myself I didn't have anything but a strong friendship with you but...

I... Jimin I'm in love with you...

Yoongi hyung

END