Too Loud • Meanie •

5. Understanding A Good Kind Of Change

"I, Uh, want to get to know you!" Mingyu all but staggers out.

What the hell did he just say? Did I hear him wrong?

I drop the remaining items in my hands to the ground and stand up without looking towards him. My eyes are too shaky to concentrate on anything and I feel the beginnings of a semi panic attack starting to form. I've never told anyone about my scars and here he is, seeing everything I've kept a closed secret for years.

You need to calm down, nothing's going to happen with him here, remember? You're okay.

"What?" My voice comes out embarrassingly low and a little scratchy; you can definitely tell I never use it. In the corner of my eye I can see Mingyu is frozen still, with his mouth gaping open. I don't dare turn around.

"I want to get to know you." He says, sitting up a little straighter, confidently and without hesitation.

How can he be so calm about this? Oh, that's right, he probably makes friends on a daily. I'm the one who's overreacting, but aren't I allowed to? I've never had anyone say that to me before; to basically be friends and learn more about me.

Finally, I turn around and look straight into his deep brown eyes, almost getting lost in the determination that's flowing from them. I continue to look at him with confusion and surprise, not fully understanding why he's said what he did, he doesn't even know much about me; other then my name. How is Mingyu so sure he wants to get to know me?

I'm not sure how long we stay staring at each other, but what pulls us out of our trance is the sudden sound of the school bell.

Thank god.

I'm the first to break eye contact, as I frantically turn around to gather my belongings that are still spread across the ground.

But this is what you wanted! You want to become his friend, to open up, to talk! My brain screams at me and it's right, but this is happening too quickly for me.

I'm suddenly pulled out of my thoughts by a yank on my sleeve, like I've been caught in a web of some sort and I'm desperate to leave. I look at him and plead with my eyes for Mingyu to let me go. I can't do this!

His own eyes widen in surprise and before I know it he's retracting his hand away quickly, holding his wrist to his chest with the other hand, looking somewhat afraid and I take this as my chance to escape. Gathering up my remaining items quickly, I move away towards the back doors of the school.

The second I step into the school I quickly look behind me to check and make sure Mingyu isn't following me. Good, he's not.

I take in a few deep breaths and let them out slowly as I lean my back heavily onto the cream wall behind me. I bite my lip to concentrate on slowing down my racing heart and quivering hands. Once I open my eyes again the halls are empty of most students, other than a few stragglers rushing to their next class.

●●

"So, your classes that you've been to today, were they okay, did you make any friends?"

I'm sat back inside the counselor's office, as promised earlier this morning.

Friends?

I nervously begin biting my lower lip in thought "Um, i-is it okay i-if I talk?" I ask while looking down.

Here's the thing, I'm not a hundred percent comfortable talking yet, that much is obvious, but I need help on the whole 'Mingyu' situation and I believe that Mrs. Choi will be able to help me in some way or another. Plus if I can spontaneously spout out words to Mingyu, how hard should it be to ask a couple questions to the counselor?