The One

Our Truth

Hello, I'm Scarlett and... I met the one and we were very truly in love.

Asher and I started off as best friends from birth basically. I was born in May and he was born in July of the same year and our parents had been neighbors for five years and were pretty close.
Growing up Asher was the outgoing one, popular, and athlete while I was the bookworm, quiet with basically no friends. Asher didn't care he still talked to me and we would hang out after school whenever we weren't busy. He was a fuckboy for all of high school slept with a different girl every week, but no matter what at the end off the day he'd come to me, sometimes coming over just to sleep together. I being a wait until marriage kind of girl, no guys really wanted me and honestly I didn't want to date I was busy studying and working that I just didn't have time or wasn't emotionally ready for one.

When we graduated I went off to a school seven hours away, and Asher stayed. However, the following year he followed me and we started going to school together we even lived on the same floor in the dorm, two doors away from each other. We would walk up to main campus together, and then go our own way until after our classes ended he'd wait for me with my favorite caramel frap., and then we would walk to the doom. Of course he had his super social life and fuck buddies so some nights he'd be out with them and I'd enjoy the peace and quiet.

When we graduated and started graduate school I decided I wanted to start looking and get into the dating life. I met a few guys and there was one guy I really liked, and he was in a way perfect for me, but I didn't pursue it.
Now I look back and kind of wish I had. Asher didn't like me dating, I guess he couldn't deal with the fact that I was trying to get another man into my life and would probably not need him as much as I did.
One day he came into my room, in the apartment that we lived in together, and told me to stop looking around for a guy when I already have him and from then on we started dating. He broke it off with the recent girl on the list and basically stopped being a fuckboy.
It wasn't awkward at all we basically did the same things as before except now we kissed, held hands and some hangouts were called dates.

Like I said in the beginning I was a wait until marriage kind of girl, but as I grew and got older I changed a bit, I decided that since I loved him and he loved me and wasn't just some guy I barely knew that it was okay and that if it came to it I would have sex with him.
On our six month anniversary we had a romantic dinner and well one thing led to another and we had sex. Was I scared ? Extremely, but at the same I wasn't. The thing that scared me was that he was way more experienced and I was a virgin, but that night he was gentle, and patient. He asked over a million times if I was sure and I said yes over a million times. It was one of the best nights of my life and I don't think I can ever regret it.

Our one year anniversary landed on a break so we decided to go back to our hometown for it. We went to the playground where we played as children and ate pizza from Pizza Hut our favorite food. We talked about all the memories we had there from when his parent's started fighting, to when his dad started drinking, to when my parents got divorced and when my mom started bringing random guys to the house, to when his dad first beat his mom, to when my dad moved to Italy, to when Asher's dad was convicted of attempted murder, to when my mother told the guys they could violate me at twelve years old, to when Asher's mom commited suicide when he turned thirteen, to when my mother left and never returned, to when my dad remarried a girl six years older than me when I was seventeen, to now.

We were both scarred for life from our very unstable households and the things we've both seen and been through.

Did we need therapy ? Yes we did very much, but we were broke university students in a society that makes therapy seem like it's just for crazy people, and plus we still functioned rather normally.

I guess we stayed together because of all that, because it was easier to stay with someone who already knew you inside out, outside in and loved you despite that.

Well our second anniversary went by and we were still madly in love, then another anniversary and then two more went by like nothing. We had been together for five years happy, with the occasional argument here and there, but still in love. We both had stable jobs and had moved into a nice pretty decent apartment and had two pet guinea pigs named Sandy and Daisy. We were perfectly happy together and had talked about marriage.

One beautiful autumn day we went on a walk at a nearby park and he proposed to me. I was happy that he had, but at the same time I wish he hadn't. I told him no, and as the yellow and red leaves fell around us I told him the reason I could not marry him or be with him any longer.

Asher is my biological brother.

My father had recently got into contact with me he said he had something to tell me before he died from the cancer.
He confessed to me that before Asher and I were born he would sleep around with Asher's mom since her husband would travel for work for long periods of times and she would come over a lot to talk to my mom and well sometimes my mom wouldn't be home so they'd talk one thing leads to another and well they slept together and they continued doing so.

He said that when my mom found out she was pregnant he was extremely happy and well he wanted to end things with Asher's mom so they did it one last time and well that one last time made Asher. My dad knew and that's why he was always good to Asher buying him random presents all the time. Well Asher's dad found out and that's why he started drinking and then he told my mom which is why my parent's started fighting and got divorced.
My mom blamed me though I don't know why, but I guess in her drugged head it made sense.

After 35 years of friendship, loving one another, and planning out our lives together we ended everything, we couldnt deal with our new reality despite how much we tried.
In a way I think we blamed eachother for our miserable lives, though it was neither our faults.

We just went our separate ways afterwards.

It's been seven years since I lost the love of my life and seven years since I laid eyes on him and I probably never will again.

My son will never meet his father.