My Poems

January 30, 2011

January 30, 2011. Drawing pictures with Brittany and Tyson. When we finished our pictures, I put them in a frame. It was a peaceful day. The sky was clear, no clouds in sight. Nothing was happening, Travis didn't have any mood swings that day, which was nice for a change. I will never forget that day.

Night is the opposite of Day

Day is the opposite of Night

A new Beginning

But always remembering

Emily and I were playing the Wii. I didn't know how fast things could change. People always talk about, now I have learned the hard way. Mom told us to pause the game, so we did. She was crying, I wondered why. When she told us I froze and Emily cried. I lost all of my feelings. Emily screamed at me, " Why are you not crying?!" I had tears. I felt them on my face. I literally just froze. It couldn't be true.

Darkness swallowed the Brightness

My world has tilted

I will never accept his forgiveness

Scientists always try to find the how, what, who and why. But they can't do that in the real word. "Why?" That word is my question for my whole life now. That word will always be in my head.

Why does it hurt?

Why didn't he think it though?

Why didn't he try harder?

Why isn't he here with me?

I stopped playing with dolls. Going outside was different because everyone was being mean to each other. I had a new aunt that I never knew about before. I saw Travis for the first time.

It felt like the end

But it just began

It was hard to be a friend

But bonds were undone

I was scared for my mom, my sisters, my brother and myself. Travis was abusing us. I found out too late. When he went overseas. Mom would always look at the computer and wait for him. He would never call. Life was getting depressing. My dad was in the background. I lost my feelings. I just read or watched TV. I was losing my family. I went to the hospital. Because Emily called the cops when I left the house. I told them I wanted to die. I had meeting with the school counselor.

Moving here and there,

He was no where.

Again and Again,

It felt like the end.

Year of 2012. Emily skipped school and I felt unsure. One day Mom came to pick me up from school, and put me in treatment for mess-up kids. I had my 14th birthday there and I missed three months of school. After Treatment. Grandma Karen came to visit us. Emily went to Glacier Park with her. No one asked me. My sister told me that Grandma and Papa was talking about how I was going to be slut and pregnant because I dyed my hair and pierced my nose. I knew she was crazy before but that crosses the line.

Bonds can be made,

Bonds can be broken

Bonds aren't easily fix

Bonds can be forever

Grandma Jan thought the same thing. Family isn't about blood. It hurts the worse. My family is a lie but not all of it. There's a square and a circle. The square is the people who say they are there but not. The circle is the people that will always keep their bonds.

Summer 2013. Glendive. To hide from family. It sucks. In a trailer with drinking and smoking. That's Jesse, mom's new boyfriend. I didn't want to eat or drink. I missed my dad. Three days without food. Back to the hospital. They give me food, that's all. Cried at night. Bruno, my dog, was the only good thing.

Bruno dies

Like everything because it has to

Life is a beginning

Death is a beginning

People learn that when they get older. I learned that at age 12. It's hard to get close to people since they will leave sooner or later. Even family. Being a kid is the best thing in the world, because everything is new and bright. As people grow up it's harder to keep that brightness alive. October 2, 2015

Kids are dreaming awake and sleeping

Kids are the beginning of life

Kids are always playing

Kids are a way of life