Dear Diary

PART 2

I flip forward to the middle of Anna's diary, a couple of months after her first entry on January 6th.

"April 11th, 2016, I'm still waiting for something to go wrong, this is the longest I've gone without breaking down since the car crash back in January of 2015. Maybe this is it, maybe I'm done crying. Things with Evan are going great, couldn't be better. My best friend Daniella Niels has finally stopped stepping around me like a bomb without a timer, everyone knows it'll blow up but nobody knows when. My life seems to be back to normal, almost as if nothing had ever changed, almost as if she never died. How would she feel if she knew? Would she be sad that I dont think about her as often? Would she think I dont love her anymore? Or would she be happy for me? Happy that I've moved on. Happy that I've found a reason to smile. Happy for me even though she can never walk beside me and share my smiles again."

I slam the diary shut, unable to continue reading. She seemed happy, yet I knew her well enough to see the truth in the words she writes. The deep sadness within them. My poor Anna, still mourning the loss of Ava, thinking it could be okay so soon. If only I'd have known how sad she really was at the time, and how much she desperately needed to be happy. If only I'd have know the emotions she still kept bottled up and how little it took to push her over the edge... Maybe I would've been a bit more careful. Though I still don't know exactly what pushed her over the edge yet, I feel it was my fault.