So Cold. (Jay Park x Reader Angst Imagine)

So Cold

5 years. 5 years of the most beautiful relationship you've ever had, ruined one night you got home early from work. You'd been working endlessly, night and day at the office, your boss pushing piles of paper into your desk, overworking you. But you couldn't complain because at the end of the week your pay would show off how much the hard work paid off. You'd met Jay back in the beginning of your freshman year high school, talking every now and then when you had similar classes. When you'd gotten paired up for a History project is when a friendship blossomed, for almost 3 years, that was until Senior year, when he'd ask you to be his. Of course you said yes, being that you were in love with him, and he loved you as well. Or so that's what it seemed like. After you graduated high school, everything in your life seemed to fall perfectly into place, and after a year and a half you and Jay made the decision to move in together. He was becoming successful in his musical career meanwhile you worked for one of the biggest companies in Seoul. On your third year anniversary, he had gotten down on one knee in front of everyone in that ridiculously expensive restaurant, displaying a diamond ring, his voice smoothly announcing, "Y/N would you do me the honor of marrying me?" His hands slightly shaking due to his nerves, his heart pounding in his chest praying for the answer he dreamed of. Tears ran down your cheeks.
"Yes. Of course I'll marry you!" You were so happy you couldn't believe it. It seemed as if it were all a dream too good to be true. Who knew you would be right in the end. The months flew by and work became a bit hectic. Jay would always wait for you, sitting at home counting the minutes down until you arrived. He would help you relax giving you small massages, and on some occasions those small moments would turn into small, memorable intimate ones. The feeling of his warm skin against yours, the way he would take care of you and made sure you were comfortable, making sure not to hurt you. It was actual love making. Sometimes when you'd come home later than usual, and he had already gone to bed, you'd still find a nice and warmly packed dinner on the table waiting for you. When youd go to bed, you'd sometimes find him awake just staring at the ceiling. You'd cuddle up right beside him and he'd hold you, rubbing small circles along the small of you back, softly talking about your future together.
But where did you go wrong? What had you done to cause something like this to happen. You remember when those late night conversations ended. Those 'I miss You' or 'I love you' texts suddenly stopping. The way the house felt freezing cold when you entered and no one was home. You'd crawl into bed, an empty space lying beside you as you wondered where'd he gone. You'd tried to text him, or call him at least 3 times a day, and on break. You were lucky enough if he replied within an hour sending a message, if he even replied with at least 5 words. You sighed, as you continued thinking what could possibly happen. When you thought of the worst, you would shake it off and say that he wasn't capable of hurting you, you loved him and he loved you. But those nights where he would come home, either drenched in the perfume of another women, or a love bite he was miserably trying to hide away from you. His kisses were distant, when he said, "I love you" it was painfully dry, as his eyes slowly grew cold towards you. The wedding plans had been put in act a while back, and you two had already set up a date. You've now been together for 4 years, going onto 5. You remember calling him that day, on break, surprised that he even answered the phone. "What do you want?" He spoke in a slightly hushed, yet threatful tone. Your heart sunk upon hearing his words.
"N-Nothing, I just wanted to know how you were and how you were feeling. I'm going to be getting home late again tonight, my boss has really been piling work on me the last few days. I'm sorry." You spoke softly.
"Alright, I'll see you then." He sighed on the other end

"Jay-" before you could squeeze another sentence, you heard shuffling and a soft whine on the other end. Your heart stopped, and as you were about to ask he had hung up, leaving it up to your imagination as to what he was up to. It hurt thinking that he would ever be willing to pull a stunt such as this one. But the fact that he thought you didn't notice was more painful. What did he take you for? An idiot? A toy? Has he just gotten tired of you and decided to just throw you aside? At times, you felt as if it was your fault he had to reside to these actions, due to your absence when he was home waiting for you. Yet, he was always at the studio as well. He knew you put all your trust into him. You felt it was your fault for letting him slip from your arms, into the arms of another women perhaps, that was giving him the love and affection he wanted. You sighed. You didn't want to believe it. You didn't want to think of Jay as this player. Not after all these years.
Exhausted from the mountain of papers you'd receive today, you were glad to finally be arriving to your beloved household, hoping for some rest. You had gotten your hopes too high. As you unlocked the door, you could already feel an empty pit in your stomach, pressure being applied to your chest. Were you scared? What was going on? As you took off your heels you noticed a pair that definitely stood out, that were not yours, along with Jay's sneakers. You clenched your handbag, knuckles instantly turning white. This couldn't be happening. Not right now. You took a deep breath, the pressure building up in your chest feeling as if your about to pass out any second. You slowly made your way towards the bedroom, but stopped in your tracks at the sound of soft grunts and moans. You heard her say his name. You heard as he panted. You stood frozen, the door being the barrier from your inescapable fate of reality that would hit you right in the face. Your eyes burned, tears threatening to pour down, as your heart ached. You thought you were ready, so you opened the door, but you were wrong. You were far from prepared to see the scene infront of you, the tears finally rolling downwards. Their bodies entangled into one another, their heavy breathes filling the room of noise, the smell strong. It disgusted you. He had the nerve to bring another women, and basically fuck her on your bed. As you walked in they still hadn't noticed you, until you walked to open the closet, pulling a suitcase out and slamming it open on the floor. You heard as they stopped, a gasp escaping the woman's mouth and Jay cussing under his breath, quick to hide each others bare bodies. You made eye contact with Jay, pain and hatred filled in your eyes. Jay quickly fumbled to put on boxers and ran towards you.
"Where the fuck do you think your going?!" He asked, or more so scolded at you, as he tried to slightly pull the luggage away from you. You scoffed, as you hit his hand away, sniffling and rolling your eyes, walking towards your drawers, gathering a majority of your necessities and clothes, quickly packing them and closing the suitcase. As you got up he gripped your arm painfully tight, making you wince, "Answer my goddamn question!" He said loudly, towering over you trying to intimidate you. You yanked your arm away as hard as you could, surprised you hadn't pulled it out of it's socket.
"Don't touch me with your filthy hands you disgusting man whore. Go play with your little toy over there because I'm leaving this place." As you were about to turn around he pulled you into a hug, shaking. He slowly slid down to his knees gripping onto you for dear life. "No! You can't just walk out like this. Please, just let me explain what's been happening-" he began to beg, but you just didn't want to hear it anymore. You sucked in a breathe, trying to control your sobs threatening to escape. But you remained cold as stone, unable to make eye contact with him afraid to fall into his trap. You felt as he turned you around, and as you did you saw as the woman rushed out the room, out of embarrassment. As you heard the front door close you sighed out, trying to control your feelings. "Why.." was all you could manage to pull out. Why were you being like this? You'd known he was pulling stunts like these behind your back, but to actually see it was something else. It was painful, you felt disgusted, you felt betrayed, you were drowning and there was nothing anyone could do to prevent you from sinking, the pain only increasing. You had seen them, on your bed, the one you two had shared together, where you would have late night conversations after a tiring day of work, where you had made pure love several times, where laying in complete silence next to one another was enough to bring a smile to your face the rest of the week.
"I- I ... just felt, alone..." Jay had finally managed to speak up. He fell to his knees looking up at you, gripping at your legs terrified that if he let go of your legs, you'd disappear. Your breath hitched in your throat, and you choked back your sobs. It was your fault. He wanted attention. He wanted you to be here with him. But yet again all the sacrifices you've made for him. You're restless nights from mountains of work you'd had to finish to present to your boss the next day. You worked hard, trying to be useful, not wanting to only rely on him and his salary. You wanted to work together beside him. But was cheating on you his reasonable way to gain your attention once again? Was breaking for heart a way to get you to have a wake up call. Did he even love you anymore? Sadness turned into anger. He should have talked to you. He should've tried communicating those nights were you'd ask if he was okay. But instead he resorted into finding comfort in other women, literally. You felt used.
"Jay, I don't believe you. You make me sick. Just because you felt alone isn't a reasonable excuse for what you did! I work hard night and day to help you out, yet this is was I earn back!? My fiance screwing a slut in our bed!? You're unbelievable." You heard his attempts to hold back his sobs. You harshly pulled out of his grip. "I need some time to think." with that you grabbed your suitcase and walked out.