So I've been looking at my notifications tonight and... I see how much I missed.
I want to be here to update everyday and do things everyday but, it's hard.
I never talk tons about my inner life because I think it's just useless to do that.
I think there is nothing exciting about my life, nothing traumatizing, just plain.
Just normal, just a scarp of an old newspaper being thrown away.
(Hamilton reference, wait for it. Oh geez I just did one) I feel like I should sometimes throw away my shot. But it would do no good for any self pity for myself. Crying for yourself is like my day. Nothing really changes, nothing really helps get my hopes lower or higher.
Why am I even writing this right now? Is it because humans naturally do have self pity? Is it because of my own self pity, or pity for others who go through tough situations?
I'm that person who tries to help but makes things worse. Horrible. Hate it more. Somehow, maybe, hate me more.
I don't see why people should go through pain and sadness and bottle it all up.
I try and let only a few tears escape, being so young and, dumb. Yes, I'm calling myself dumb. Besides, it's not like someone knows everything. I don't know how to comfort in a way that helps. I don't know how to act in a situation that can help the person move away from the death path. I can't hold on so much yet, since I'm so dumb. Going back to calling myself dumb. Back to square 2. I'm not reborn into something and someone new and "perfect."
What am I saying? No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect.
PEOPLE, LIFE HAS ITS UPS AND DOWNS!!!!! DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU FROM OPENING UP, FOR SHOWING WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!!!! DO NOT HAVE ANY EXCUSE FOR BOTTLING UP YOUR OTHER EMOTIONS!!!!
Let people help. Let people know someone is there for them. Don't let the words like, 'You don't know how I feel' or 'I can handle this and push it away.' Press on, and I don't mean pester them. Give them hope, love, no hate to anyone.
The hate bubble grows, we grow to hate our bad feelings. I hope, no, hope is just some word that is weak. I beg that you all will accept help and talk. Just let the words slip. It feels better. Lifts something off your shoulders.
I hide so many things from my guardians, I keep everything to myself. All the bad things, and think about them until the thought sickens me. Open up, don't do things like closing yourself off. You can't tell them everything is fine when clearly, you know you are lying. Let them give you their shoulder, let them give you sympathy!
I beg you to. I hope you do. I wish you do. I pray you do. You don't have to even listen to me is you don't care. I hate seeing people hurt and bottling themselves up. It's time for you or anyone to help, to give, to accept. Help the people who need it, or ask for it sometimes. To give a shoulder, a hand, a smile to that person. To accept some help, some shoulders, that hand, that warming smile from that caring person.
To everyone who can read this, spread it to the people you know would actually listen to my words. I'm not doing it for views, for follows, for anything. From deep in my heart, I'm telling everything as what I think, my own truth.
SPREAD THIS CHAPTE RTO ANYONE YOU KNOW WOULD UNDERSTAND AND HELP THEM SEE THAT PUSHING AWAY THE UNIMAGINABLE IS NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!
Ok guys, you can leave now. Peace to all. And don't quote me one that *laughs a bit*
-Sunset
