The Fix

september second

6:47 AM

I guess it's agreeable that I'm not the biggest fan of change.

Or maybe I'm just not a fan of being hurled into the actual most horrid, devil-ridden school in all of my county, or perhaps, not to be dramatic, Earth.

East Chamberlain High School has a pretty monumental reputation with other kids, not exactly as being the safest environment for students, but a war zone. Today marks the third time that we've been presented on the news for a kid being stabbed, but who's counting? Today also frankly marks my second week here, where I can still only manage to make conversation with my first period chemistry teacher, who I sometimes catch giving me long, peculiar stares during class lectures, but I'd rather disregard it. It isn't that I'm an unlikable person, it's just difficult to befriend anyone who is a member of an exclusive friend group, that behaves more like a cult than a simple, casual, grouping of people.

The main difference may be that one can actually join a cult.

What distresses me most is probably the fact that it won't be long before my mom hops into the picture to hurl me into some club or sport, to meet people that most likely aren't excited to meet me. As I inch closer to my mom's car, each step feels heavier. My mom impatiently smashes her horn as I continue to arrive at the pace of sloth. After I ponder more about it, I realize that she's usually one to put off or forget discussing certain things with me, so I don't have any belief that she'll mention forcing me into any clubs or school groups anytime soon. I let out a deep sigh of relief. She gives me a slight nudge once I sit down.

"So, why haven't I heard about any of your new friends?"

Shit.

I take time to question whether I should just make up a few friends and throw some random generic names onto them, or if I should come clean about having the social skills of an actual shoelace. She continues to ramble.

"Well? Speak up! Who are they? Have you not told me because you're afraid that I won't like them?"

She pauses.

"Don't tell me that this is another bunch of drug dealers!"

"It's not."

With every word she speaks, her voice becomes more blaring and deafening. "You sure? I am not spending another all-nighter at the county jai-"

"It's fine!"

She takes another pause. Then gasps.

"Is it a boy? Are there multiple boys?" She becomes overwhelmed with her own giggles. "Please tell me they're cute!"

Oh, if only you took into account my raging homosexuality.

At this point, I consider simply agreeing to put an end to her scream fest. But if I do, it could just make way to a whole other series of yells. I decide to keep quiet. I have nothing against her energetic nature, it can just be too much to handle at six in the morning for you know, any human being ever. Her Counting Crows CD slightly hums in the car as we both grow silent. The silence is later followed by her heavy sigh. Her ecstatic tone has disappeared, and her voice is almost at a low whisper.

"Aubrey," she begins. She takes her eyes off of the road to lock her gaze with mine.

So you want us to both die now, that's nice.

As I feel her powerful stare, it suddenly feels as if my insides escape my body.

"I'm only so annoying about this topic because the last thing you need is to face these next few years alone, alright?"