Lost

The end

The roads are crazy, cars that are silver, green, blue, old and new speed past my eyes like a cheetah running to catch its prey.

I take out a lighter and hold my hand over it to block the wind from blowing it out, the flame is like acts as a heater against my frozen hands. I put the lighter away and as my pale skin starts to tighten around frail bones that scream to break through, I enjoy the feeling of the hot smoke slowly deteriorating my lungs.

 I decide to go visit my best friend Charles, Charles and I have been best friends since 2009 when we broke out of Trenton state hospital together, a mental asylum for people like us. He took an axe to his family and I took a knife to my mum.

"Hey Charles, Open up!" I push open the front door to see a little brown haired, Green eyed boy with shiny white teeth staring up at me. "Hailie!" The high pitched scream of the boy saying my name and embracing me with his tiny hands around my skinny legs made me feel at peace. I was home and this is where I always wanted to be. "Hey champ" I picked him up and carried him as I started to walk inside. The sun shines brightly through glass doors that lead to a green backyard. There is a white fluffy couch and sitting in front of it was Charles crouched on the white glossy tiles playing Xbox. "Hey Charles, thanks for watching him."

"No problem." He was too busy playing his game to even look at me. I put down Xander and watched as he ran towards Charles and sat in his lap. How could my sister have made something so cute? As I wondered I hopped to the kitchen and stared at the green bottles through the clear transparent glass cupboard doors. My hands leaning up against the white marble bench. "Red or White?" I spoke under my breath. "RED!" I heard from the living room. I grabbed two wine glasses and headed to the living room. Charles paused his game. I sunk into the cushion of the couch legs crossed with my back against the armchair. Charles mirrored me. I handed him his glass of wine. "How was he today?" I asked. My heart beating a little faster than it should. I stared straight at Charles while drinking only a sip. "Yeah, Xander was good today. We just played Xbox. No fits or crying." Charles moved in a bit closer his eyes staring straight into my soul. "How are you though Hailie? Are you feeling okay?"

"Just in need of a few drinks and some 'just dance' and I'll be fine Charles. No need to worry about me." Charles' face light up like a Christmas tree. He ran, turned the TV, swung back around looked at me with his pearly whites and gave out his hand. I scrunched my face and smiled back as I grabbed his hand. As he pulled me out of my sink hole I smirked: "Xander, come on champ it's bed time." He came in from outside. I picked him up. "Look at you. All dirty before bed, better get you some clean jammies hey." My heart clenched and I couldn't help but press my puckered lips against his red baby bottom soft cheek as he giggled. "Goodnight little one." I kissed his forehead, turned off his light and speed walked straight to the living room. Charles was already is his dancing position. I took a gulp of the half-filled bottle of vodka sitting on the coffee table and as I felt the burning sensation down my throat I was ready to begin.

I looked at the time. It had been an hour. I decided to take a look at my phone. My phone, my phone? Where is my phone? I stood up from my sink hole and stopped. The TV kept on moving and it changed into a black spot. I started to lose my balance but I got caught. "You alright Hailie?" Oh Charles yes Charles, I love Charles. "I'm alright just getting my phone." As I struggled through the hallway banging into walls I finally found my room. "You little mutt! What are you doing?" Xander flew up in his chair. His bottom lip quivering and big glossy eyes dilated staring at me. His lips cherry red, eyelids purple and rosy pink cheeks. "AAAHHH!!!" A waterfall fell down the once baby bottom soft cheeks I kissed. A red imprint had been stained upon them. "GET OUT OF MY STUFF!" My throbbing hand clenched around the collar of a young boy. My home. My peace. His tiny hands circled around my wrist trying to pull me off. "Aunty Hailie stop your hurting me!"

"Hailie!" I turned around. Charles. There was a loud thump on the ground. My hand felt lighter my head heavier. Everything was a blur. Charles ran towards Xander lying on the floor. His eyes wouldn't open. I suddenly felt my body shatter as my knees collided with rough carpet. Everyone's face became a waterfall and slowly everything got more distant. "Xander please wake up." My home was lying unconscious on the rough carpet. Charles' voice faded and everything turned black. What have I done?

I awake to bright lights and many different voices coming from all directions. My eyes open and I slowly push myself up to see where I am. There is a table next to me with a glass of water and brown piece of paper. As I reach toward the water I'm stopped. I look down to see a silver bracelet that has me attached to the bed. I struggle, wiggle and turn my wrist. I can't break free. I look up again. A man in a blue shirt and black pants is standing outside my room. Voices are coming out of the speaker on his shoulder. His belt consists of what looks like weapons. I'm in a hospital. NO! Not this again. Dread runs down my face. Fear and anxiety engulf me like a plastic bag over my head. I can't breathe. I look to the table and with my left hand grab the brown piece of paper.

"It's what is best for you and Xander. Don't worry I'll take good care of him. Love Charles."

I wipe my cheek. I've lost everything.