The Potion Princess

The Stanton Mansion

Her feet slam onto the marble floor, sending shock waves of pain through her legs, and the entrance hall of the Stanton manor swirls into view a second later. Her mother lets go of her arm almost immediately, leaving Audra to stumble a few steps before she gets her balance.

"I was so worried." Her mother's voice was tight with the strain of the past few weeks, but other than the small lift of her hand, there was no sign that she was going to wrap her in a hug or do anything to reassure them both that she was okay. "When I didn't hear from you immediately, and then you couldn't even travel you were hurt so bad... Let me see it."

"I'm fine." Audra bats her mother's hand away, ducks underneath her outstretched hands. She is backing away without really knowing why, considering she had been yearning for some sign of motherly affection all week. And yet, now she was incredibly angry, seething about the lack of letters or floo visits or even a proper greeting. It was true that she could not travel the magical way, yes, but Audra knew that her parents could have arranged her to come some other way, if they had cared to. Audra didn't know what it was like to be a parent, but she was sure that any of the Weasley's would have walked if they had thought one of their family was in trouble. "Molly took care of it."

Not you. The words hung in the air between them as Audra turned away and walked towards the steps, trying not to look back at her mother, her lips half parted while forming her name and one hand still outstretched towards her. Audra knew that she was supposed to turn back at any time now, become the good little daughter, apologize for worrying them, but she just focused on the smooth oak railing under her hand, moving forward one step at a time. As soon as she was out of sight, she hurtled down the long hallway and into her room, locking the door as quickly as she could and throwing herself down in front of the fire.

This time, she did not cry. This time, she pulled her dog, Bernie, towards her and buried her face in his fur, breathing in the awful scent of him, rotting leaves and wet fur and the faint smell of the cotton candy shampoo their house elf washes him with. Normally she would wrinkle her nose, but now she just closed her eyes and breathed it in, thinking that it might block out the scent of the smoke and burning fabric that she had been carrying with her in her memory. Audra chokes on the lump in her throat once more and her shoulders shudder, but there are no tears, only memories. Her mind is replaying the whole scene over and over, like a bad film, flames and smoke and screams and trampled tents and a small head bobbing up and down against a tiny shoulder.

She does not go down to dinner, no matter how many times Vinnie the house elf stands outside her door and pleads with her. It takes a while, but the images finally go away, and she stands up, straightening her shoulders and looking around her room, thinking that it looks much too like the room of a little girl, and not at all anything like the person she was growing to become.

She does not remember deciding to do it, but suddenly the posters were off the wall and crumpled up on the floor, the stuffed animals shoved underneath her bed, the old quidditch gear she never uses shoved deep into her closet. Audra dumps a vase out the window, watching the flowers flutter down through the air and land across the roof, and puts a cauldron on the table instead, letting her room be filled with shimmery smoke and heat. She cuts the ruffles of her bed spread with her wand, burns a pillow that her aunt Narcissa had got her and she always hated, throws old story books in the fire.

She does not feel any better.

It was well past midnight when she decided that she could come out again, creeping down the hallway and tiptoeing down the stairs, intent on grabbing food and stealing her way up the steps again. She's almost at the door when she sees the two shadows stretching out across the marble floor, leaning close together and gesturing wildly, as if they were fighting. Audra almost turns to walk away, but the frantic whispers draw her back in.