Sequel to Lost

[un]Happy?

I'm not happy at all, I miss you so much.
He doesn't make me happy, I want to tell you why but I can't.
He doesn't give me anything like you did, there's no love it's just it's just-
It has something to do with money, my family is in debt to his and I became his property
I love you so much and even still. My love for you keeps on going even through this storm.
I had to slowly leave you, I didn't want to do it all at once, that's too much pain. For the both of us.
I smiled less because our days were ending, I had a time limit. There was so much I wanted to tell you and do with you but I couldn't say it. It wouldn't come out it got stuck in my throat.
I couldn't stand looking at you. Your shiny eyes, box smile and nose mole. It broke my heart and every time I looked at you I felt guilty. You stared back at me like you knew but then you acted as if nothing happened. Why didn't you ask?
It made me sad to think of our memories. Of our son. Of us. Of you. Of what would become of you.
It's my fault if only I wasn't so stupid. I should've done something.
You tried so hard to make me smile and I loved that. You are my world, Kim Taehyung.
I tried to tell you that I loved you at any chance I got but it became a routine. I really meant it though.
My heart hurts even remembering to this day.
He doesn't make me smile, he makes me cry and want to die even more.
He's nothing like you, he's a monster and you were my angel.
Everytime I look at him it's a reminder of how I left you.

I didn't want to play the victim, we both were in this "game".
I tried to save you from hurting even more and I sacrificed myself for you.
I broke it all, our promises, we could have had it all but I was so stupid.
Why did I do it?
You're my happiness Taehyung, my bliss and true.
He threatened to kill you
After...
After he...
After he raped me
I'm sorry