Serial killer

Reminder

With a constricted heart and sweaty hands i made myself open the door to my tragic past, one that i thought i had buried and long forgotten. I entered the house as much i hated it and walked so softly as if the three headed dog from Harry Potter was sleeping. The broken glass crunched under my loafers with each step that i took. Everything around me was taunting, mocking and looking down upon me. This house held the crime i might have kept covert from the world but couldnt clear it from my conscience.

I slipped my hand inside the pocket of my jeans and took out my Iphone. As the screen looked back at me i felt the digital clock smirking at me. Time. Time may be the best healer but it can be one hell of a torture. It was two thirty in the morning. I ran my shaky hands through my hair. Making my way through the house i searched for that one room.

 "Are you sure you want to do this? My mind asked knowingly. Just head back and live the carefree life you did before.

"

Do you actually call that carefree? My heart retorted back. You need to face the consequences of your actions. It's called karma.

A part of me wanted to run away like the coward i had been a year ago and gulp down my favourite bottle of whisky until i lost consciousness. But a bigger part of me wanted to apologise and clear my conscience once and for all. The house was torn down. Everything was a mess. Pieces of shattered glass and shreds of broken wood covered the floor. There was hardly any furniture and those present were covered in a layer of dust. Not knowing where i was going, i found myself in the familiar corridor with doors at both sides. Hung along the wall were potraits obscured due to the dust. Moving my hand over one of the potraits i revealed a picture of a couple. There in a beautiful flowing white gown stood the most elegant woman one could have ever seen, side hugging a younger version of me. Nostalgia hit me hard.

"Seb, how do i look? she asked excitedly. "You look perfect my love. Just like always" i replied with a smile. She gave me a shy smile and hugged me. I embraced her back and we stood there for what felt like an eternity.

I was sweating profusely realizing that i was reliving the memories again but they were only in my head. Despite the extremely chilly weather i was sweating and shivering all at the same time. Contemplating, i decided to push aside the hallucinations.

Subconsciously i reached the kitchen. I saw her standing behind the counter, an apron tied loosely around her slender waist. She looked up at me and gave that heart melting smile.

I couldnt take this anymore. I should not have come here. I turned on my heels to leave when i saw her again standing at the end of the corridor. I have no idea what took over me but i decided to follow her.  I started nearing her until she turned round the corner to enter a room. When i entered the room she was no where to be seen but i realized that i had just willfully stepped into my very own created nightmare.

NO NO NO.

I couldnt believe how much the place had changed since last year. The room was devoid of any furniture. The bed we once shared, the room itself held so many memories. In that precise moment, I saw my life replay in front of me making my heart ache. I was trapped in a tornado of nostalgia, one that no matter how hard i tried i could not escape.

"I will miss you." she said in my ear. "Please don't go."

"I have to; its a very important business meeting. We can skype everyday" I answered twirling a loose strand of her hair around my finger. "Is it more important than me?" she gleamed at me with those pearly eyes. "Obviously not." I retorted as a matter of factly.

One by one as the scenes of my life played before me like a movie, i felt more and more suffocated. I wanted to run away but my body refused to do so. Feeling the adrenaline rush in my bloodstream, I felt my legs wobble and I collapsed on my knees. I pulled at my hair and closed my ears in an attempt to push away the menacing memories but in vain. All sounds seemed to fade as i screamed at the top of lungs. Screamed till my throat hurt and my head was throbbing violently. Kneeling on my knees and hugging myself, i shivered. I thought i couldnt take it anymore but it was too late when i realized the worst was yet to come.

The night was as gloomy as my soul that day. Swaying the expensive bottle of vodka in my hand i barely made it to the porch. I could hardly see. Everything was obscure and i had no control over myself. I found the doorbell and rang it several times. After a while i heard the familiar footsteps. Five seconds later, i see her standing in the night gown, a scowl plastered on her face. "Don't come home if you have to come home in this condition" she stated and turned around leaving the door open for me. I saw her head towards our bedroom. Trying to catch up with her i call out her name but she continues towards the room. Her behaviour infuriates me. Disbalanced, i take big strides and hold her by the hand to turn her around. By this time, we are in the bedroom

"Let me go." she says through gritted teeth.

"I will not." i stand my ground.

She pulls away further vexing me as it is i was being irritable. I tighten my grip and pull her towards me. "I can't take this anymore." she says as tears flow down her face. "Now that you're going to be a father i thought you'll be more responsible and mature. But everyday its the same routine. This is not going to work. Clear your issues. I dont want my child growing up in the influence of an alcoholic. I can not handle this. If you can't fulfil your responsibility leave me on my own. I already have a lot of duties. I can not handle you as well." she started shouting at me.

The last part of the out burst took me aback. I felt betrayed and alone. But my response was aggresive. The alcohol in my blood made me a monster i did not know i could be. I held her so tight that she flinched. Despite her wriggling i did not let her go. I looked straight into her teary eyes and enjoyed the misery she was going through. She pleaded and cried but i was not moved. And then before i could realize i threw her back with such force that she hit her head against the framework of the bed. I saw blood trickiling down her forehead.

It was too late when it dawned over me that the force was too much and she could not handle it. With the injury on her head she also sustained a major back injury. Standing there in utter bewilderment i realized what i had done. Seeing the lifeless body in front of me, i had just taken away all my happiness with my very own hands. Her blood was on my hands now.

I had killed her.

It was so surreal and i thought it was a nightmare but it wasnt. It was the life i had chosen. I started hyperventilating severely. I was shaking uncontrollably and my hands were as cold as ice whereas my forehead was beaded with sweat. My heartbeat was racing rapidly until black spots started appearing on the corner of my eyes. My eyelids grew heavy and i slumped on the floor just before seeing the world dissolve into pitch black.

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The story is unedited so you might come across some slip ups. You are all free to positive criticism and suggestion of ideas.

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Signing out,
The crazy book reader.