Old love: Zaroon and Kashaf Ss

The Past

"Zaroon."

Startled by the voice he looked around.

"Maria?"

"Haan. Chalo pehcha liya. Kaise ho?"

"Main theek hoon. Tum kaisi ho?Long time."

He said smiling at her.

"Main badhiya.Haan kyun ki tum to jaise gayab hi hogaye the."

"Main ho gaya tha?Ya tumne sare rishte tor diye Kashaf ki shaadi ke bad."

"Khair cheezein hi kuch aisi huyi thi tab.Waise ye kya tumhari beti hai?"

She caressed Maham, who was sleeping peacefully in his arms.

"Nahi Kashaf ki. Tum pehle kabhi nahi mili?"

He asked a bit surprised.

"Ye Maham hai?Nahi. Meri to Kashaf se bhi mulaqat nahi huyi. Last uske divorce ke bad huyi thi. Tab Maham bohot hi choti thi."

After a brief moment of silence, he finally asked something he wanted to know ever since he had come to know of it.

"Kashaf ka divorce kyun hua akhir? Sahir to ek ideal type larka tha. Par phir aisa kya hogaya?"

"Galti Kashaf ya Sahir ki nahi thi. Halaat aise the ki Sahir ne use divorce de diya. Shayad yeh dono ke liye hi acha hua."

She smirked looking at him.

"Aise kya halaat hogaye the?"

"Come on Zaroon kya tumhe abhi tak nahi malum? Itne anjaan to na bano."

She said nodding her head in disbelief.

"Nahi mujhe sach much nahi malum."

He stood there in confusion.

"Kaun mard yeh bardasht karega ki uski biwi ho toh uske saath, par mohabbat kisi aur se kare?"

She asked looking directly into his eyes.

"Matlab?"

"Samajhdar ko ishara kafi hota hai par tum itne bewakuf hoge mujhe andaza nahi tha. Kashaf ne mujhe kasam nahi di hoti to main kab ka tumhe yeh baat keh deti. Kam az kam teen ya phir char zindagi to barbad nahi hoti is kadar. Tumne Kashaf se is baare mein baat ki hai? Himmat nahi huyi hogi na? Ab kar lo. Kahi phir se dair na hojaye."

She said while patting his back in a way of reassuring him.

Leaving Maham with her, he stepped ahead to look for Kashaf.

Kashaf, on the other hand, was still feeling claustrophobic in the environment. Her thoughts would keep shifting to the past.

"Kashaf tumhe mujhse koi gila hai?"

Asked Sahir, while holding her hand.

"Kaisa gila?"

"Tum kya yeh shaadi nahi karna chahti thi? "

"Kya farq parta hai?"

She smiled sarcastically at this.

"Tum aisi to nahi hua karti thi shaadi se pehle. Hum kayi baar mile hai tum itni reserved to nahi hoti thi. Shuru ke dino mein mujhe lagta tha ki tumhe time chahiye kyu ki wo saari cheezein mere liye bhi bohot nayi thi par ab to humari ek beti hai. Koi aisi baat hai kya jo tum mujhe bata nahi rahi."

Kashaf looked away while he still waited for a response.

"Tumne aaj tak mujhse yeh nahi kaha ki tum mujhse mohabbat karti ho ya nahi?"

He asked while straightening up.

"Tum jawab kyu nahi deti?"

"Kyun ki main jawab dena zaroori nahi samjhti."

She said while getting up but he wouldn't let go, not at least today. Today he wanted her to spill out the truth. He had waited long enough already.

"Par main zaroori samjhta hoon. "

He got up too tightening his grip this time.

"Kya sunna chahte ho tum?"

"Ki tum mujhse mohabbat karti ho ya nahi? Aur main sach sunna chahta hoon."

"Tab toh tumhe sirf dukh hoga."

He left her hand at the blunt reply and with moist eyes said

"Toh mera andaza sahi tha."

He looked directly into her eyes and moving closer.

"Kisi aur se mohabbat karti ho tum?"

She looked away while he pinched her to the wall.

"Kya is khamoshi ko main haan samjhun?"

He left her calmly.

"Kaun hai woh? Kahi woh tumhara dost to nahi jiske saath tumhe main aksar dekha karta tha. Jo humari shaadi mein bhi kuch zada hi involved tha? Haan Zaroon main use kaise bhool sakta hoon. Toh tumne yeh shaadi kyun ki?mujhe itna bada dhoka kyun deti rahi?"

He asked while sitting on the couch.

"Mujhe nahi pata maine yeh kyu kiya par mujhe yehi sahi laga.Mujhe laga cheezein theek ho jayengi. Par woh nahi huyi."

She finally broke her silence.

"Aaj main sirf sach kahungi kyun ki yeh sach to tumhare samne aa hi gaya hai. Sahir main nahi janti ki Zaroon mujhse mohabbat karta hai ya nahi magar mera pyaar uske liye isse kam nahi ho jata. Tumhe meri ek bhi baat nahi achi lagegi aur lagni bhi nahi chahiye. Maine bohot koshish ki main tumse mohabbat kar sakun. Par har baar main nakamyab hi huyi hoon. Mujhe jitna khud ke liye bura nahi lagta utna tumhare liye lagta hai. Mujhe pata hai tum mujhse inteha mohabbat karte ho lekin shayad kabhi kabhi itni mohabbat bhi kam pad jati hai agar ap uss insane se wapas mohabbat na kare. Tumhe mujhe kabhi maaf nahi kar paoge aur karna bhi nahi chahiye. Apni soch me maine tumhari zindagi bhi kharab kar di. Lekin main ab aise nahi reh sakti. Is jhoot ke sahare nahi jee sakti. Agar main tumse mohabbat nahi karti toh mujhe tumhari zindagi aur kharab karne ka haq bhi nahi banta. Shayad main humesha aise hi reh jaun magar main kisi ko bluff nahi kar sakti. Tum mujhe talaak de do Sahir. Mujhe azadi de do. Is guilt se azadi de do jis mein main roz tadapti hoon. Lekin tum mujhe Maham se dur nahi karna. Tumhe ek achi ladki mil jayegi par meri zindagi ka sahara wahi hai. Please."

She sat next to him while tears made its way down her cheeks.