The Leaky Cab

Duh Dun

The taxi driver pulled up on Elm street late in the night. The air was crisp as a freshly picked apple. He pulled up into a dank alley way to pick up the man in tattered red clothing. The man ran up to the man slightly out of breath and demanded " Open up the trunk right now!'"

This was odd. In the last four months Alaska hadn't come across anyone with such promptness. Yes, there had been been a few with the incessant need to urge him, "speed up!", but never the trunk. No one had that as a priority. So he popped the trunk with some hesitation, his eyebrows arched with curiosity. Then, his soon to be passenger placed something heavy down, the car jolted, and the man came in the back.

"Just go!" he exclaimed. His face looked flushed and his voice cracked. Alaska wondered what the hell was in his trunk. How was he supposed to find out without alerting his new client. Alaska decided to try small talk in order to clear the air.

"Windy today," Alaska said, with the air of someone trying to be casual. And he was given the reply of only a grunt.

The cab came to a quick stop and a loud thud came from the back of the car. A deep crimson liquid came out of the back of the trunk dripping ever so slowly. Alaska said in a muffled voice " I'm sorry about the stop I didn't see the... you know..."

"Fuck off and keep driving! Highway twenty two. Ten minutes. I don't have time for this shit."

Alaska sweated more than he ever had before. His breath became faint and the cab become completely silent. All they could hear was the sound of the wheels on the pavement and the steering wheel. Alaska started to slightly twitch his leg.

This caused his driving to become sloppy, a jolt every now and then. And with every jolt, there was a thud in the back. Alaska didn't want to imagine what this was. He just wanted the drive to be over. He wanted the tension to end. "So, er, do you have have a name?"

" You can call me--lets see--John. Yes that will do just fine." John's face started turning pale as if all the life had been sucked out of him. Alaska could see that he was deep in thought like a child trying to solve an impossible problem.

They were just minutes away. Alaska steadied his breath, grateful that this whole thing would be over.

Alaska let go a deep breath knowing this ordeal would be over soon. He then turned on the radio. The music calmed him down and seemed to make John relax. The broadcaster then started talking " There seems to be a nasty pile up on the twenty two so if you're thinking about taking a midnight highway drive you might want to think again."

John muttered something to himself. He clinched his fist, and it seemed as though any moment now he would become ballistic. But he didn't. He drew another breath as jazz began playing on the radio.

Alaska began to panic and started thinking how to get out of this deep pile of shit. Without thinking it through he swerved into the building to his right; slamming the gas full speed into a brick wall. His trunk broke open and the deep crimson red spread all over the bright yellow cab. Class shattered covering Alaska in deep cuts and puncturing his left eye.

In his daze, Alaska's eyes found the rearview mirror. The lamplight glared over a large...cow?

"What the fuck is wrong with you John yelled. I went on grindr and i planned to meet up with a guy then he fucking left me a dead cow! This day could not get any worse what the fuck!!!! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!"

THE END

P.S.

When in doubt, don't crash into a wall.

P.P.S

This is why we can't have nice things.