A Forgotten Presence

I grew up half of my life without a father
Who would have ever knew,
Undermining his presence
And I still made it through.
The distance, the miles,
Canceling road trips,
I assumed it was up to me
And my friends from the grip.
Smiles, laughter,
An 8 year old twinkle from my eye,
It was never discovered
Because I only had tears to cry.
It's sad the sympathy never appeared
Until a recent distraction,
For me to even feel
A small distilled piece of satisfaction.
The only bad thing
That's behind all of this is...,
It's not that I gave up
Or the lack of reminisce.
It's not my emotions
Being under a hot abyss,
It's definitely not my mind's dehisce,
But I'm still waking up
Without my father's presence.