If you're one of those popular girls on high school and university, you'd probably know how convinient life is being YOU. It's easy to be loved by people; just a smile and you can get away with something. You can bitch out just because you can, and you can still get away with it.
When I was a kid, I was not one of the popular cute girls in school. I got dark skin, chubby, a bit annoying, and bully kid. I always got to be compared with my older sister, who's got white complexion, slender, great dancer, beauty queen. I've had this inferiority complex as people always see her first, then look at me like they feel sorry for me, then say I'm beautiful in my own way.
Years passed, I honestly have used some whitening products, tamed myself, lose my weight, had my hair straight, put on braces on my teeth, put some colored lenses on, and learned how to mix'n'match clothes. I can't believe the transformation I saw in the mirror. A lot of people can't recognize me, even my relatives stares at me for a long time and tell me I look so familiar, but can't name me.
I got used to how I look eventually as years passed. I looked at myself in the mirror vainly and a bit proud to put less to no cosmetics 'coz i like the way i look just as it is. I was so happy.
I always say "don't put your foundation on beauty 'cause it fades. It will surely fade someday soon. I've been ugly, I know how it feels, and I won't put my heart on beauty 'cause i know it's temporary."
Until one day, I changed my life, and this life changed me drastically in a moment. In less than a month, that appearance that I've slowly put together as one to look just like how I wanted, was gone in a glance. The change in weather and environment have caused my skin to get darker and darker each day, and the heat caused my facial pores to open and had a breakout.
I litterally don't now what to do. I tried eating just fruits and vegetables, exercise, drink plenty of water, avoid soda, chips, sweet and salty foods, but nothing works! I tried different product of anti-acne for oily skin, AHA, mild facial wash, toner, I even tried natural products: I buy fresh lemon and honey and put it onto my face, thinking that nature will always be the best solution, but nothing seems to work.
I'm in a point now of being helpless about it. I've spent some money for my face but still, nothing seems to work.
The point? You are who you are regardless of what you look like. I was totally wrong thinking that people accept me for what I look on the outside, when they barely see it and actually looks on the inside.
This selfish realization is sometimes needed so the reality will slap onto your face the things that you should know, and that the things that should be shaken shall be shaken away from you.
It's difficult for me to accept how I look now after a long strive to having that looks I'd had before this, yet, the only choice I have is not retaliating.
