Oceans ❀ Embry Call

三

The day was over, it had been... okay. Graciella had two classes with Miel, Chemistry and English. Then she only had Michael for World History, and Joel for Algebra 2, she knew she was gonna struggle a lot in that class. Not only because she was terrible at math but because having a distracting best friend in there would be a challenge. She had lunch with both of them and she had Advance Spanish with Jennie and Rose, she got her chance to congratulate them there in person and they were thrilled about having her on the team as well.

It was a great day, but Graciella didn't feel great.

Paul's words never left her mind. Sure, she pretended to be okay and whenever someone asked her how she was she would put on the brightest, fakest smile she could muster and tell them she was fine.

But she wasn't fine, not at all.

All day there was a constant ache in her chest.

Paul had crossed the line. A line that clearly had a thousand no trespassing signs all around it. She didn't know what to do to get his sick words out of her head.

Reaching her locker, she yanked it open. Stuffing her new subject books she had gotten that day inside. Thankfully her teachers were chill and none of them had given her homework on the first day. Closing her locker, she stared down at her feet.

Swirls of emotions were flowing inside her veins, it was all too much. She couldn't dictate exactly what she was feeling.

She felt everything and nothing.

Was it even acceptable for her to feel this way? Guilt consumed her. Was her family problems really an acceptable excuse to feel so depressed all the time? She felt guilty for even allowing herself to categorize herself as being depressed.

Depression was a serious topic to Graciella. Long ago, before her best friends felt comfortable in their own skin, they were very different. Both, Michael and Joel were going through depression. They were sad, afraid, and confused. They hated themselves for not being 'normal'.

Graciella was there with them through it all. She didn't care what people said about them. She loved them and nothing was ever going to change that. She was their shoulder to cry on, she tried her best to comfort them.

When they came out to their families, Graciella was there. Tightly holding their hands and staring at their families with a hard stare. Prepared for whatever was to come. She would fight and stand with them, and if their families were going to turn away from them, Graciella was prepared to do everything in her power to help them.

It was such a relieving and tear jerking moment when both their families hugged them and accepted them for who they were. Graciella thanked the heavens that her friends' families were so understanding and accepting.

But before their coming out, Graciella would never forget how depressed her best friends had been. How they lost a lot of weight, due to not eating. How dark, purple bags grew under their eyes from not sleeping well. How they cried themselves to sleep, and lived in constant fear. How much they hated and blamed themselves for something they had no control over.

It was torture, it was hell.

And although she lost her appetite and she had sleepless night as well. And even though the feeling of fear consumed her at times and she often cried herself to sleep, and she also had no control over her families problems, Graciella couldn't call herself depressed. Depression wasn't something to be taken lightly.