Secret Diaries (Heartlake Cliche #1)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

May 25, 2009

 Crickets \’kri-kəts\ - (n.) vicious creatures designed to make an awkward silence…worse.

     Rachelle stared at her best friend without actually seeing him. In her mind, a slideshow of memories started playing and she watched it intently, recalling the details of her experiences with Nick. The first memory was in Central Park where they first met as kids. He handed the crying Rachelle his cotton candy while helping her up. Since then, she had seen him as a hero, a brother who would support her and help her get back on her feet when she gets knocked down.

      The picture was followed by their days in grade school, birthdays, silly stage plays, middle school, the day Nick lectured her first boyfriend on how to treat her properly, the days when he went with her for her modeling projects, the day she told him about her being sexually harassed, high school, last year’s prom where he went as her date, and everything else that followed.

      Confusion filled her and his words began a throbbing hum in her head. Words which ultimately boiled down to several repetitions of that one sentence that stunned her the most: I’ve kept my feelings to myself ‘cause I’m so scared of losing my best friend when I finally tell her that I’ve been in love with her for as long as I can remember!

      It was the only thing she could hear as the lake obviously felt the need for calmness; the city noise was alarmingly distant; and the crickets, well, they were apparently having fun making her listen to just one sound alone.

      Nick’s voice.

      Not that she didn’t like hearing his voice but the words that echoed in her head seemed to be beating every single part of her body, making her feel shaken right down to her very core. It was as if she was standing right beside a huge gong when someone pounded on it.

      Rachelle saw him turn back at her and the impact of his eyes almost made her weep. A small part of her was ashamed that she couldn’t tell him that she loved him back. If she was to be honest, what happened with Liam had hurt like hell and Nick had just made her all the more confused.

      Boys had been telling her ‘I love you’ for the longest time but as of the moment, she had no idea how to respond exactly at Nick’s confession. She felt like she had read or watched this scene before but for some reason, she could not recall what the heroine did after knowing that her best friend’s protectiveness was because of love and not really about friendship.

      He continued to look back at her and she felt pressured to say something. Anything.

      “Nick, I—I don’t understand,” she finally said evasively.

      He let three seconds pass before he said in a distinct voice, “Yes, you do. It means I love you, Rach. I merely wanted you to know that.”

      “Nick…”

      “I didn’t tell you what I feel to confuse you, Rach. Nor do I want you to tell me you love me too.” His eyes suddenly filled with sadness but he immediately concealed it with indifference. “Because I know you don’t. I just…I hoped it would stop you from thinking about Milton.” He let out an aggravated sigh. “And I’d rather worry about what you’d think of me now, than plot revenge on that asshole who messed up your life.”

      When Nick said he knew she didn’t love him, Rachelle felt like a traitor caught up in her lies. He showed no sign of feeling betrayed, however, so she decided to stop thinking about it. The possibility of hurting him made her feel worse than a heel.