Toska

Esen

The tightness in my chest had yet to go away hours after the incident in the woods. There was another person just like me. I should have been happy. I should have been leaping with joy, filled with the satisfaction that I wasn't alone. That just wasn't the case.

I was angry. Angry because she showed herself boldly to me. Angry because she made me aware of her existence. Angry because she seemed to be friends with that stupid golden magician whom I despised. Angry because it reminded me of who I am, and angry because the world has teased me with someone I still couldn't bring myself to trust.

My feet carried me back to the far too big mansion I had left earlier that day. I couldn't go back to the woods today. I just couldn't.

Upset voices rung from the sitting room. It was strange to her such a sound coming from someone in this house. I slowly made my way to the closed door, and pressed my ear up against the door.

"That's the third group we've sent out this week." My mother's agitated voice filled the room. "Not one person from them has returned. This is what we get for hiring those pathetic commoners." I rolled my eyes at her harsh words.

"Not true. One of the potion master's apprentices returned. He seemed shaken and unwilling to talk." A voice belonging to one of the leaders answered.

"Well then make him talk." My father spoke harshly.

"But Sir, if we used that spell we-" I heard a hand slam against a wall.

"Make him talk or go join the missing men." My father roared. It was typical of him to yell. His temper was terrifying to those who feared him which seemed to be most people.

After a while, I got bored of their chatter and decided that it wasn't that important for me to listen any longer. Walking out of the main entrance, I opened the door to the sunroom and stepped inside. There was nothing in the room besides a tiled fountain in the center.

My body seemed to glide over to the fountain. I lightly ran my hand along the surface of the water and closed my eyes letting a memory wash over me.

It was twelve years ago, and I was only eight years old. My small body was held against the fountain as I attempted not to struggle.

"We can stop this all my dear. Just use your magic." My father whispered into my ear.

"I can't Papa. I don't have magic." I had whined. This statement displeased him greatly, and with one swift motion, my head was held under the water. I did my best to hold my breath but soon felt myself choking for air.

My father pulled me out of the water by my dull blonde hair and threw me to the ground. I gasped for air and coughed up what water I had taken in. My gray eyes were brimmed with hot tears as I looked up at the man who stood there with a disapproving look on his face. "You are a failure and a disgrace, Esen. Go to your room and stay there. You will have no dinner tonight."

I nodded weakly at him and stood to my feet. "Yes, Papa." My voice came out hoarsely. I let my small legs carry me up to my room where I curled up on the floor near the fireplace and starved that night.

My eyes opened, my mind now in the present. I took my cloak off and laid it on the ground. My knees hit the floor and my hand gripped the fountain's edge. I flung my head deep into the water and screamed. Every emotion of the day I screamed into the water, and when I was satisfied, I pulled myself out of the water.

Taking a deep breath and grabbing my cloak from my side, I stood to my feet, and much like that night many years ago, I curled up in front of the fire and starved.

(A/N: Woah hey there. Okay so I've been busy as of late and spaced for literally over a month in posting this. So sorry. I'm a bit anal when it comes to doing authors notes before posting these bad boys so ya know sorry Moony and Prongs! Anyway, I'll probably write a lot of short slightly emotional chapters , but i'll work on writing long ones for you guys as well. I hope you enjoy and i'll see ya next Monday Prongs! -Padfoot)