what would've happen?

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What would've happen if i didnt try to kill myself in the school bathroom? What would've happen if i didnt try to harm my bully of 7th grade? A lot of things would be very different. My name is Monica and got expelled from school in grade 7 for threatening to harm one of my bullies. April 22, 2016. This was the day i had planed to kill myself in the second floor school's bathroom. The razor blade tucked in my jeans pocket. 11:00 am was my plan to procede to the bathroom but a boy seem to think differently. He startred cursing at me and calling me worthless. I was tired so without thinking i took my blade of my pocket and said "if you dont shut the hell up i will slit your throat and trust me it will hurt." t

hen i laugh like crazy. I saw his face and ot was priceless. But all ended too fast and i had to destroy my blade so i wouldn't get in trouble. I threw the balde in the trashcan and sat in my sit away from the boy i almost tried to kill. He suddenly smirked at me and stood up and asked permission to go to the deciplent centre. 20 minutes later i was being pulled to my locker so i'll have to open it for the police. The policed found the second blade i always carried. The school principle call the police and took me away. My family was disappointted but i didnt care. What would've happen if i didnt threatened the boy? Will i be dead? Or will still be suffering his harsh words and thinking of dying? After the events in school i was taken to court and they decided to make me go back to theraphy seeing that i was only 13 years old. Theraphy was bad. So i tried to kill myself again but failed seen that my step sister walked in my room and saw me with a rope in my neck. We never talked about that. What would've happen if she didnt walked in? I would be dead. But did i want to be dead? No i wanted to live a live of no troubles. Remembering my 13 year old thoughs make me think if that boy didnt stopped me i would've kill myslef in that bathroom. So would i change my choices? The answer is yes. I wouldnt have taken the blade to school and i would've never paid attention to the boy and his harsh words. In the end i am working throughout this only seen it only been a year since it happen. I would be dead. Or atleast more depressed. Or happier than before. The choices go to infinity. So in total yes i would've change my choices but they had shape me to the person i am today. My name is Monica Ocampo ,14, and this is my story

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 19, 2017 ⏰

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