Random Ideas

#4

Why is it...

Every time  I look at a picture of you

I get happy and sad, happy, because you

look beautiful and i get to call that my best friend,

 but sad because I know I'll never be able to call you mine.

You are my distant dream and my reality at the same time.

You'll never be mine and I'm okay with that because 

i still get to talk to you and hug you and be next to you

without think about how you broke up with me or vise versa.

Fuck

  Maybe it's because...  

 I love you so much that i'd rather let you go and be unscathed

while i sit here crying cause you'll never look at me that way

then to tell you and you feel bad for rejecting me.

And maybe it's because...

I'm a coward and don't ever own up to my feelings

because i have suck low self esteem that whenever 

anyone compliments me, even you, i automatically think

"get real" or "haha funny joke" or even "i thought i was blind"