They say, "hard times always reveal who your true friends are,"
I always thought it was kind of a stupid saying. My friends are my true friends. I changed my mind about it being stupid when I went through a really hard time in my life.
Things are different between Jannie and I now. Jannie never lived near Colby or I. She lived in El-Paso for quite a bit of time, and Colby and I were really close. We hung out all the time, between sleepovers, and swimming at Mimi's house.
Colby and his family went on a vacation to Utah one time. A huge ski trip they had planned months before. They got home in July, and the next year in March, Jannie moved here. In June, Colby informed us they were moving to Utah. Aunt Heather, his mom, had really liked Utah, and found great buisness opprotunites. They moved by June, almost a month before it would have been a year that they had got home from their ski trip. Jannie and I weren't close, but we were both very close to Colby. It was rough when he left. I came down to Mimi's more often. We hung out more often. Our first sleepover, we fell asleep at nine. At our second sleepover, it became later. Gradually, we became very close. Colby slipped our minds as we found comfort in each other. Jannie and I could relate, and we talked about things that neither of us could either talk to Colby about. I always thought Colby was my best friend. But as I look back on it now, I realize that he wasn't. He wasn't there when I needed him to be, and Jannie always was.
*October 2013*
"Rachel, you need to go," My mom said over the phone, and I sighed.
"I know, but I really don't want to." The death of my grandfather had not yet set in. My mom was in Utah, where she had been for the last month, with my grandpa who had been in a coma.
"I know, but you need to."
"I think I should just stay with Jannie," I decided. It sounded like a better idea.
"No, you need to go. I'll see you in three days."
She hung up, and I decided I should pack. Rebekah, Austin, and I were flying out in a couple of days. I got on facebook to message Jannie.
Rachel Patterson: 9:07 P.M.
My mom said I need to go to Utah. -.-
seen 9:07 p.m.
Jannie Nolan: 9:07 P.M.
But you don't want to?
Rachel Patterson: 9:09 P.M.
Yeah, I wanna stay with you.
But I guess I need 'closure.'
I wasn't even close to him?
seen 9:09 P.M.
Jannie Nolan: 9:10 P.M.
Well, when do you leave.
You could just miss the
flight. ;)
Rachel Patterson: 9:11 P.M.
Hahahaha yeah... no. Im gonna
go to bed. We have to pack and
clean tomorrow. Love you! Goodnight.
I did go to bed.
*Grandpa's Funeral- Utah- October 2013*
Colby showed up at Grandpa's funeral. I didn't care though. All thirty something of us grandchildren piled up on the stage, and sang a song in Grandpas honor. I hadn't been crying yet. I left the stand in tears, and left the chapel after my sobs were to loud and inturrupting everybody. I walked into the bathroom and sat on the floor, the tears coming with no end. I needed Jannie here with me, but I had no way of getting ahold of her. I left the bathroom, but didn't go back inside. It finally ended, and people piled out of the large room. They grabbed me to walk Grandpas casket outside. Colby met me there. He's a lot shorter than me, so he wrapped his arms around my and rested his head on my shoulder.
I went back to Colbys house. Brynn and Cam were there, too. (They were our cousins who lived in Idaho) We had gone to Chad's house (our uncle) and they had come home with us. I broke down in the car. Mimi and Grandpa understood, though. I went up and sat on Colbys bed. He was already home, and skyping Jannie. She said hi, but he pulled her away. Brynn knocked on the door.
"Hey, I just wanted to see if you were okay," I stood up, smiling, and walked over to her, closing the door behind me. I nodded, but the tears came out, and I sobbed on her shoulder. It was another moment where I needed Jannie. She was on the camera three steps away, but I couldn't cry infront of Colby like this. Mimi pulled me into the guest room. I didn't want to talk to Mimi. I wanted to talk to Jannie. She wasn't there. I went to the basement. I didn't want to talk to Jannie when Colby was there. Everyone else was in the basement. Colby came down, and I thought he would stay with me. He was my age, afterall. I was on my laptop, my headphones plugged in.
"Hey, can I use your laptop? The iPad died and I was talking to Jannie." I was messaging Jannie at the time, but I gave it up, and he went back upstairs. He didn't even try to comfort me. I pretended not to be hurt by that, but I was.
***
We left early that morning. We had to get home. We drove home with Dad and Brandon. I talked to Jannie a little bit. Not much though.
Jannie didn't leave me for Colby anymore.
I didn't leave her for Colby anymore.
We both really came together.
Jannie told me later she had been begging Colby to go to the basement and give me the laptop so we could talk. He said no.
I can't judge him. I mean, i can, but I won't.
I didnt know where to go with this so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hahahaha.
-Rachel
