Love Story Gone Wrong (A Monologue)

I wish you understood. I wish you knew. I wish I could tell you everything. Everything that runs through my head all day. It's you. Don't you realize it? You're all I ever think about. Everything ties to you. I walk down the halls and see all my friends with their boyfriends. They're happy, they have who they want. Most of them have who they love. I smile because they're adorable, but then a frown comes to my face. I think back to August, the best month of my life. I don't remember ever being happier. I think about watching you run down the field, scoring a touchdown. I'd jump up and cheer as loud as I could, so proud of you! Then when you won, I'd run straight for you. I was so proud of you. Then I think back to November. I remember you telling me about going away, how you were moving- far away. And not just an hour or two, more like a day or two. I remember crying my eyes out not knowing how I was supposed to do without you. What was I gonna do? You were leaving, you were going away, I was losing you. What if there was somebody better down there? What if she's better than me? Please, please Kelly. No, don't do it, don't say that! Stop playing around, this isn't funny! Wait, you're serious? Why? Why are you doing this to me? No, no! You can't! You said you wouldn't leave me! You said- you said we'd be together! We'd be fine! You said you'd come back for me! You said you'd be back in a year! You weren't supposed to leave me, that wasn't our plan! I-I-I can't do this. I hung up the phone. It happened, it really happened, he really left. But he told me it would never happen. How could he do this? How could he just throw three years down the drain like that? We were supposed to get married- live happily ever after. What happened? What did I do wrong? I tried- I tried my best- I did! Was I not good enough? Then December crosses my mind. Nothing was getting better. I was still in tears every night, all night. I'd just lie on my floor and cry. My mom took me to the doctors, they diagnosed me with depression, and it was killing me. I remember when I made the decision. I was tired of the world. I just wanted out of it, that's all. I started writing a letter saying goodbye to everyone I love. I said goodbye to him, and said how much I loved him, and how I always have, and always will. But something stopped me, and it had to be an act from God. This scene came to my head. I saw my baby brother as a toddler. He looked up at a picture frame on the wall, and said, "Mommy who's that girl in that picture?" She just sighed, then picked him up. She had a real sad look on her face. "Well, that's one of your big sissies. She died when you were just a little baby." That's when I decided I couldn't do it. But he almost made me do it, I almost did it. Then I think of that night you called me- saying how much you loved me and missed me. I told you the same. Too bad it was on accident. You said you were sorry, and meant to call Kassie, not me. I just hung up the phone. It's been a month now since I've received that call. Sometimes I think about calling you and yelling in your face that I hate you, even though I know I love you. You don't understand. I miss you so much! But I love you even more. Too bad I have a Love Story Gone Wrong.