Bloody Fists: a Harry Styles fan fiction

Chapter six

Warning: morbid stuff starts here.

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"Please? Just go with me."

"I-I um..."

"Logan."

"I really don't want to anyways." I looked into his green eyes. Never once had I tried to say no to him, never have I seen him this angry.

He grabbed my arm and shoved me into the wall. "Logan, just go to the party."

Pain shot up my back and I winced, but his eyes stayed cold. "I, I'm supposed to hang out with my dad tonight... It's a tradition. I can't miss it."

He squeezed my arm tighter, probably leaving bruises, and sneered in my face. "Aw, does Logan not want to disappoint daddy?"

"Just let me go..." I whispered.

"No!" He contradicted my quiet pleas with a loud shout.

"I can't go!" I tried again, not knowing were the confidence came from as I raised my voice.

He literally growled then threw my body aside like trash. I fell on my side, dazed.

All my breath suddenly disappeared as his foot connected to my stomach. I screamed, but nobody could hear me, we were alone in his apartment.

He roughly grabbed my upper arm. "Get up you stupid bitch!"

I did as I was told, but his words stung. Where was the sweet Jake who showered me with complements and kissed my nose?

Although, Jake was probably just having a bad day, I made him more angry because wouldn't go with him to the party so I deserved this. There is no reason why I shouldn't go, dad can wait right? I am stupid. I deserve this.

He was glaring at me while I looked at the floor. "Alright. I'll go."

He nodded slowly and kissed my nose while mumbling. "I'm sorry baby. I didn't want to hurt you."

His lips lingered, and despite the situation my cheeks flushed. He took this as permission to make the simple peck more.

Jake's chapped lips pressed themselves along my jaw and neck, soon finding their way to the dip in between my breasts, he sucked the sensitive skin while his hands traveled along my body.

Finally he pressed his lips to mine, and I kissed him back, granting his tongue entrance to my mouth.

Something felt wrong about this though, Jakes movements weren't sweet or gentle like they have been for the past couple of weeks we've been dating, they felt.. Greedy almost.

But I trusted Jake. I knew he never wanted to hurt me. He did it for my own good. I trust the boy I gave myself to. I trust him.

Jake broke the kiss and looked at me with hard eyes. It made me cringe, normally they were filled with love, but something was wrong. Did I do something wrong?

He leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Put on some makeup, you look disgusting. I'm not taking you out like that."

I felt hurt, but nodded anyways and he walked away.

I went in to the bathroom, and upon seeing my reflection I saw I did look disgusting, Jake was right, he always is. I took out the bag that carried my makeup stuff, relieved I had decided to leave some here earlier in the week. I decided to take a shower before applying any makeup though, I needed to look my best for Jake.

My heart felt heavy as I took off his T-shirt and my shorts. I still couldn't believe he hurt me like that, even if it was for my own good. I felt sad, way more sad then I have ever felt as I looked at the bruises covering my ugly, naked body.

I decided that I needed to be punished more.

I walked into the steamy shower, the water spraying on my skin, and eyed my razor. I didn't need to shave, but I knew how I could punish myself. I picked it up and brought it to my skin.

. . .

I awoke with wet cheeks and puffy eyes. I hated nightmares. I would rather not sleep at all. They bring back horrible memories, this one being one of the worst, the first time I scarred myself, the first time he beat me.

I was so naïve, so stupid. Jake broke my trust and scarred me for life, and not just physically.

I found it hard to trust after him, not even being able even trust dad at first. I still find it hard, but I like where I'm standing today. I'll never allow myself to be hurt like that again.

Tears continually fell as I buried my face in my pillow, hating all my stupid mistakes.

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Oh gosh guys, I do not support self harm at all. Please don't do anything to hurt your bodies, I'm sorry if this negatively affected you in anyway, ily <3