The stars in her eyes

Chapter two

The dorms were nothing like i had imagined and for a brief second i regreted fighting my mom on letting me stay here. For some reason i had pictured them a place of peace and quiet almost like a santatuary, not a hallway filled with squealing, gigleing girls. All around me girls my age were carrying boxes into their asigned rooms and greeting familiar faces, deep in the pit of my stomach i felt a twinge of jealousy.

As i crept into the hallway, attempting to myself as invisble as possible, i searched for my room number. Draging my heavy suitcase behind me i peered carefully at the small didgits on each shiny wooded door untill i finally reached room 38.

Whille i was trying to get into my door and hold onto the objects i was carrying girls kept running into me, pushing me to the side as they barreled through laughing with their friends. If i was my mother in this position i would lift my chin, fix my posture and waltz right into my dorm room like i owned the place and couldnt be bothered by anything, i would be a stone.

Stones are hard, maybe thats why its almost impossible to sit and have a long chat with my mother about anything besides work and gossip. My mother was a woman who couldnt be bothered with lifes every day things, if she was here she would curl her lip and have that dissapointed gleam in her eye at the way i was handleing myself.

First i ran into a complete stranger, who by her standerds was way below me, and got asked out by the same stranger and now i cant even get through a mob of silly overly excited girls and into my dorm room. Dissapointed wouldnt even be close to the word she would use to describe how she would feel about me in this momment, try ashamed, thats closer.

I felt a surge of relief as the door swung wide open, a dark haired African American standing in the threshold. A smile lit up her face as she took me in, noticing right away due to the multiple boxes I was juggling that we were to be roommates.

Ushering me in quickly, she reached out and took a few of my boxes from my hands, balancing them on her hip. I entered the room quickly, happy that I finally could settle in and figure out my school schedule. Once the door was firmly shut and all my boxes were placed carefully near a bed I was engulfed in a giant hug.

My roommates arms wrapped around my tiny frame, and she let out a girly squeal in excitement. I tried to not scrunch my nose at the unladylike sound and held myself back from flinching. I waited uncomfortably for her to slowly untangle herself from me and was relieved when I was finally free.

"I'm so excited" the African American beauty exclaimed, her deep brown eyes shining. I gave her a small smile back unsure on how to act around overly excited girls my age. "The name is Ashley" she introduced, holding out a hand.

I took her hand shaking it firmly like I was taught and nodded slowly. "Nice to meet you ashley, I'm Emma. Emma king"

I waited for her eyes to widen and for her jaw to drop at the mention of my last night but was surprised when her facial expression didn't change.

"I love your nails! And your clothes! Were gonna be such great friends!" Ashley rambled on, bouncing around the room as she pointed out my bed, dresser and desk.

I couldn't decide how I felt about this bubbly character in front of me, I wasn't used to people like this, especially not girls my own age. Ashley explained to me about the set up here at Stanford, the Greek life, cafeteria, dorm meetings and all I could think about is how I didn't know much about any of that.

I applied to Stanford because I was a legacy and I knew it was what my parents wanted of me. I didn't actually sit down and learn about what this school had to offer, I figured it would just be like another four years of high school. I would study, go to class and sleep. People didn't converse with me then, so why would they now?

I barely listened to Ashley as I began to unpack my stuff. I started with my bed accessories, taking out my large purple comforter and white fluffy pillows. I placed the objects on the bed carefully, making my bed easily like I did every morning back home. Once my bed was all set up I set up the lavender color lamp on the dark wood bedside table and them moved to my last few boxes containing my clothes.

"Is that all?" Ashley asked curiously, her dark brown eyebrows furrowing, causing creases to form along her perfect skin.

"Yes?" Was I expected to have more??

She took in my purple set up, and lamp and my extra boxes filled with clothes and then finally her gaze settled on the bare wall above my bed.

"What about posters? Or photos..?"

I glanced over at her side of the room and instantly realized what she was getting up. Yes Ashley had her comforter and pink lamp and her clothes hung perfectly in her closet area but her walls weren't bare. Unlike mine, above her bed was plastered with photos. She had photos of what I assumed were her bestfriends smiling at the beach, on Halloween, eating ice cream , she even had photos of her family. Her wall was covered in memories, memories that showed who she was and memories that she could look back on and laugh and smile.

"No." I said coldly, turning back to the rest of my boxes "nothing else".

Ashley stood by me for a few more seconds before slowly turning and walking over to her bed. I inwardly flinched at the horrible people skills I just showed, I was suppose to be making a life here, not repeating high school.

Looking back at Ashley I saw her scrolling through her phone, a soft smile lighting up her face as she giggled at something she read. I frowned at this, slightly curious about the contents on her phone. What did normal girls find so fascinating about their cellphones? While mine was just a tool for communicating with parents or adults.

"Hey, Emma, some people are meeting up for a before school bonfire tonight, you in?" Ashley called across the room, her voice still warm and friendly as if my retort never happened.

Hope fluttered in my stomach at the thought of making friends and being able to be a part of something. That hope was instantly shot down as I remember school started tomorrow and I wasn't ready, I still had a lot to do and there was no way I could disappoint my parents.

"No, thank you but I still have a lot to do to get ready for tomorrow" I declined politely, wishing for a brief moment that she would insist I come but that never came.

Silence filled the room and though I was used to it this time it made me sad knowing I could of tried harder, I could of prevented it.

Once I was on my last box and finally done with hanging up my mother approved clothes I stood up from the floor. Sighing deeply I moved at sat on my bed, crinkling my nose at the way the bed sunk and creaked at my weight.

Ashley was still sitting on her bed, her face in her phone.

"Hey Ashley do you think it's possible-" I was cut off by a loud nock on the door. Ashley jumped up, smoothing down her black skater skirt and skipped over to answer it.

she opened it with a large smile and instantly greeted the girls that stood in the doorway. The girls were tall and beautiful, yet looked young and carefree like nothing could stop them. They began chatting with Ashley, the conversation flowing easily between the group. Ashley laughed and danced back in the room, grabbing her purse from the side table.

Before she followed her friends out the door she stopped and pause glancing over at me sitting alone on my bed. A frown fluttering over her face as she took in my obvious alone status.

"What were you trying to say before Emma?" She asked curiously.

I shook my head and forced a smile, faking. "Nope, all good. Have fun with your friends"

"You could join if-" she began to say only to be interrupted by her friends urging her to hurry up. She frowned again and left the room, never finishing her invitation.

I wouldn't have gone anyways. Girls that like weren't friends with people like me, people who have never had a friend in their life because they cared so much about their parents expectations. If only I didn't care so much maybe then id have the guys to say yes, maybe then I wouldn't be sitting alone on my bed while plenty of parties were going on, maybe I just wouldn't be alone in general.