BROKEN

Hi there guys:) just trying to write my feelings toward this guy who broke my heart and sadly he didnt know that:(( just try to read it, maybe we have the same story :)

He was the one who made me experience how HAPPY to love and to be loved. But then he's also the one who made me experience how PAINFUL it was. He love me and i love him but that was before because now, i was left hanging here waiting for him and his love to come back. I thought he would come and chase me after i broke up with him, but i was wrong, totally wrong coz now his happy with someone. Then there i realized that his love for me was gone.

I kept on asking myself how? when? where? did i hurt him. And i had no answers to all of that, i want to ask him but i can't coz im afraid he would misunderstood me. He didn't even know that i even cry silently on the nights before i sleep, and even if ill tell him that, he wont do anything to stop me. Because he's busy with his flirting business.

I felt cheated. Cause what i saw now was they were so close,happy and comfortable with each others company. The pain always strikes me like i was stub a million times everytime i saw their posts on social sites. Im not mad at the girl coz i know she doesn't know anything. Im mad at HIM, i felt anger everytime i saw his face and remember his name, because the bad memories always flashback. From the moment he's ignoring me until the moment we broke up and not apologizing from what he've done.

Thinking about his behavior before and now made me realize that guys really moved on sa fast. Just like now, he can easily forget about the things and good memories we once shared. What hurt in this situation is to see him that i once shared a relationship with, completetly moved on and here I am so atuck up in the past with nothing but good old memories.

I still want him. Im not yet completely over him. Im secretly waiting for him to come back, to mend my broken heart. But then, why is that seeing him made things worst. It hurts even more to see him who once held my heart, completely forgets everything, and act as if nothing really happened.

I hate myself for being stuck up in this situation. For thinking that theres still this thing called HOPE. Its really true that in relationships don't expect anything because nothing is permanent. Expectations lead you to something you wanted in life that if not met, will somehow turn into pain and disappointment.

People really do change, funny how a broken heart can turn you into a better person, but as for me, I looked better but deep inside i really feel an anger. So now i could tell that HATING IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN LOVING.

-broken-