The Duke's Surreptitious Ways (Rafael Benedict Valiente)

Chapter 25: Cold Night

Raffy's POV

I plopped down in the same armchair I vacated a moment ago, that looks exactly like all the others in the palace — wing back Victorian chair with a gold gilded leaf and in ivory color — frustrated at the turn of event.

Grumbling a string of profanities under my breath, I wiped the tears away and dropped my back on the backrest, propping my head on the top as I stared through the ceiling.

It was an exhausting day. The morning started out like a dream but ends a nightmare.

I wasn't supposed to pop the question right now, but I got carried away when I started opening up.

And when hurt crosses her face, I want to punch myself. I felt like a sharp knife stabbed my heart over and over. My chest squeezed tightly, my heart jackhammered, it hurts to even breathed. And tears escaped my eyes, I didn't even realize. It was overwhelming emotions, and I don't know how to control it.

For the first time, I had no control of my response. Natalia stripped me naked, and I had none left. All I can do is hope for her forgiveness.

And just thinking of her leaving me, it's breaking me apart. I'm sure, I'm never gonna be same. I will be forever dead inside.

Stupid of me not to realize it earlier that I love her. That I desired no one else but her to be my wife, to be the mother of my children, and to be my duchess.

I never wanted to be like my father. As mom refers to him, a man-slut, but I did. I am worst than him.

The clicking of her heels pulled me out of my thoughts. I sat upright and stared at the direction of her walk-in closet.

My heart cavorted when I caught sight of her. She looked regal in her plain black dress. It suits her perfectly. I tamped down the urge to close our gap and pull her into my arms. She's not mine anymore, after what I did, I don't know if she still can accept me.

I swallowed hard as I tried to ignore that fresh waves of pain that crashed over me. I struggled to take air into my lungs when I met her sullen eyes. My world crashed down, and all my hopes vanished into thin air.

I stepped tentatively forward, holding her gaze, pleading her silently through my eyes; for a chance, for us, for our future.

She didn't withdraw her gaze. She met mine, unyielding, giving nothing away. My heartbeat picks up rapidly. She held up the box, and my eyes instinctively shifted to the small box where the ring is — a 20-carat oval pink diamond surrounded by 16 small pink round diamonds set in 24K white gold. Turning my gaze back up to hers, she met my eyes with defiance. I was standing a few inches away from her.

"I can't accept this," as she held out the box.

I swallowed thickly, searching for a little hope in her eyes, but I found nothing but coldness. I dropped my gaze to the black box, staring at it with less interest. I was so excited when grandpa told me that it is mine now, for the woman whom my heart chose to bound forever. It is the late, late empress' ring.

Now, the ring doesn't worth anything. I had no intention of marrying someone else other than her. If she doesn't take it, then I don't need it either.

I shook my head. "It's now yours. You can throw it away if you want, or give it to someone, I don't care..." As the words rolled out of my mouth, my heart pierced into tiny million pieces. The truth is, the ring will only be a poignant reminder of her rejection. "That ring worth nothing to me if it's not you that wears it." I swallowed the lump that felt growing in the back of my throat.

Fresh tears trickled down my cheeks, and I looked away. "Tell me the truth, Raffy. Just the truth." She said, dragging my wet eyes back to her.

Her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she spoke almost breathily. She struggled to suppress her tears. "Am I just a front to you the whole time?" She choked out.