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~1 Welcone To Paradise They Say

"But I don't wanna go. Do I have to go?" I said laying against the window.

"Yes you do, it's for the best. You are going go to your aunts and your going to do something with your summer other than sulking around all day."she said starring straight​ ahead. "I don't even really know the lady."

"Well, she wants to get know you so deal with it. After what happened to Your brother and Daniel you just shut everyone out and we miss you sweetie." She says softly. You promised you wouldn't talk about that. "Well sometime you gotta talk about it".
She said
" You gotta stop putting yourself down about this OK,It wasn't your fault". She says." Whatever keeps your boat flowing mom". I say
"Well off that subject,I'll bet you'll have loads of fun here. Your just gonna work a little and she'll pay you. Is she my aunt or my employer?" I say." Very funny Jade. She just wants to connect. Plus this a favor she owes me."

"Oh so this is just a favor to get rid of me?" I say. Of course it is I think to myself." Oh no sweetheart I....I just... Me and your father just need some time to ourselves, that's also why Jess is over at art camp this summer as well"." Of you say so mom". I say I lay against the window I have a flashback. That day in the meadow..... Nevermind I can't think about that right now. I know my mom says I shouldn't blame myself but I can't help it. And I know deep down that she blames me for it too. She barely even looks at me anymore. She and dad are always at work, so I never see them. I'm always at the house alone with my thoughts and my voice

I love to sing. But I don't like singing in front of people. I have stage fright. I get really scares and my mind starts going crazy. I can't help but think there judging you, there making fun of you, look at them laughing, they'll never accept you your ugly your voice is ugly everything about you is ugly.

"JADE JADE JADE....." I hear my mom calling me snapping me out of my thoughts."yeah yeah, sorry mom kinda spaced out for a minute. What'd you say?"."I said I said did you take your pills?". She says. " Sighing: yes mom I did and I have them in my pack as well." The year or So I've been having anxiety problems so I have to take pills.