I laid down in my bed. I could hear my heart thumping. Although I could barely hear it, I thought it was going to thump out of my chest. I had been arguing with Alec. He wouldn't talk. He wouldn't let me help him. Did you ever think about this?: the one who tries to keep everything together usually doesn't know what they're doing themselves. I swiped over and looked at myself in the Snapchat camera. I could see my eyes welling up. When suddenly, I felt a tear rush down my face. Was I that person? Did anyone care about me? Would it make a difference if I was gone? Yes. No. Probably not. I thought back to all the times that I starved myself. The times I skipped lunch. The things my parents had said to me. I didn't smoke. I didn't drink anymore. I didn't get in trouble with the school. I was a pretty good kid. But my dad didn't care. He'd continue to yell at me when I sometimes didn't even do anything. I didn't tell my dad much, so he didn't know there was too much going on to be yelled at. Have you ever had to stage a breakup? No? Just me? My friends hadn't been very supportive of my relationship with Jared. For a while, we pretended to be apart. I was such a slut. This was my opportunity. I had been cheated on by one guy. To this day, I'm still a little broken. I honestly had no intention of hurting Jared. He was a hot senior boy. He was captain of the football team. He wasn't mine, but man oh man would I SMASH? Hell yeah. Lucky for me, he was one of my best friends. Chad Aaron.
TEXT MESSAGES:
me- "Hey"
Chad- "Hey hottie, what's up?"
me- "new nickname? i like it."
Chad- "Sorry. I meant thottie."
me- "mhm. suuurrree."
Chad- "You know I've always had a soft spot for you Abby."
me- "& a hard one?"
Chad- "Yea haha. That to."
me- "Chad, you're a senior now. you'd think you'd know that it's t-o-o."
Chad- "Goodnight Abigail. I love you."
me- "Love you too buddy. See you tomorrow."
Why was it this way? Why couldn't I be the cheer team's captain?
