lost ♡ 2jae

juu

youngjae ran home, legs burning in addition to his and jaebums little 'workout' earlier. he was truly in fear of what jaebums mother could do, easily abusing her own son like that.
he had always noticed a new girl on jaebums arm, still trying to cling on jaebum when he clearly wasnt interested in anyone. youngjae thought jaebum was just an unfeeling asshole, and maybe he was. he never would have guessed that his own mother would force him to be hetero. jaebum just seemed like a regular popular guy with fragile masculinity to him during all those years.

he actually felt empathy for the older. with his most recent confession towards youngjae only an hour ago, he finally knew what was going on in jaebums head. it was like he needed to know if youngjae loved him and constant reminder of that. he knew jaebum was sorry for his actions in the past and lived in constant guilt. if he was going to love jaebum, they needed to almost get over the past. it wasnt that long ago and lasted for awhile, but they had to accept it.

it wouldnt be easy for youngjae. then again, nothing was easy for youngjae when it came to anything involving jaebum. his palms would sweat, his heart swelled, and cheeks heated up. he wouldnt deny that he had feelings for the older. why else would he spend almost every hour of the day thinking about him?

what youngjae really needed, was to update his best friend.

-

'hey, hana.'

'fuck you asshole.' hana replied through the call.

'i think we should break up.'

'i never liked you that much anyways. i knew we wouldnt last that long.'

'yeah.'

'also, you embarrassed me at that party. i should get back at you. like tell your mom you left me for a b-'

'she already knows.'

'oh. whatever. i hope you got hit. bye douchebag.'

'bye, hana.'

now jaebum was free. from hana. not from his mom, however. apparently, his mom vowed to castrate him if she caught him with a boy and especially not choi youngjae again.

he wasnt afraid, he would be starting college after this year. what he was afraid of was the thought of youngjae not loving him back. its like he set himself up for disaster with not stopping the whole minji thing when he should have. but how could he? youngjae was so fucking adorable and the complete opposite of him, like the perfect match. he couldnt forget the times youngjae would smile widely, eyes forming smiles as well. he couldnt forget one night youngjae fell asleep on his shoulder when him and minji were watching a movie at his house. it was still youngjae under the makeup, wig, and everything, the mole under his eye revealed with a swipe from the concealer.

jaebum was so in love with the younger, his fear would cease to exist sometimes. but even with the memories of youngjae in his arms, there was the day he pushed youngjae into the lockers so hard he began to cry. he couldnt forget how red and swollen his eyes became from tears, a crack in his voice. he never wanted to hurt youngjae again after that day. jaebum regret every second of it, but he couldnt take it back. he just wanted everything to be okay.

-

a whole week passed by. no call or text from youngjae.

jaebum really started to believe that the prank didnt stop and was still going.

on friday, jaebum rejected any plans made by his friends and decided to just sleep. he was exhausted mentally, and physically. tired of waiting for a reply from youngjae.