Past Filled With Distraught

Chapter 2: Worthless

I woke up only to see a text spam from him. "Call me" , "don't ignore me" , and "Haley I wanna hang out" but I didn't. Every time I was with him he made me feel like shit always yelling at me and fuck I already go to a shit hole school I don't need him. Yet, I want my dad in my life but what's the point if he only uses you as an excuse to not pay his fucking child support? It's not worth it. Is he really worth crying over? No, but yes. I'm not the strong person you think I am. It's an act. I'm just a girl trying to deal with the madness in her mind that kills her everyday but I can't do much talking anymore. I have to get dressed and deal with school. I'll be okay, hopefully. I got dressed and quickly grabbed breakfast and ran out the door and got in my car. I turned up my music and cried to the rain dropping on my car window. I got to my school and wiped my eyes. It's not the time to be made fun of, Haley. I tell myself that all the time. You can't let them get the better of you just go like yesterday it'll be fine. I walked through the hallways and acted like I was on top of the world until bitch #1 and #2 showed up. Fucking snobs. Everyday I deal with this shit. Did my ex best friend send them? How petty. I walked passed just like I usually would on a Tuesday and just listened to my teacher go on and on about how numbers and etc work in math. I honestly could care less. Stupid credits, stupid school, stupid people, and let's not forget stupid dead beat dads. I can't take anyone seriously anymore and I don't give a fuck for anyone. I say that but I really do, sigh. I walked to my next class as the bell rang and stared at my ex boy friend and questioned why he never talked to me. Was I weird? Probably. It doesn't matter anymore though it's just another sickening day for me. The day was like in slow motion except for lunch. Lunch fucking sucked. Cunt ass bitches threw lunch on me, great. Exactly what I needed in my life, more stress. Lovely. I ran to the bathroom and just sat in the stall. Why. Why is it always me?! What the fuck did I ever do to anyone? No answer. What the fuck was I expecting. I started writing in my journal of how I felt and ripped it apart and threw it in the trash. I got up and washed my face then walked out.  I walked fast so I wouldn't run into the girl I hate the most. Luckily I got there before her. Now I can finally be at peace for a moment. I listened to my teacher lecture us and just let the day pass by. I got in my car and just sat in it when I arrived at home. I looked down and then I looked up and I froze. No...no!    My body was shaking. The man who struck fear through my entire body why..why was he at my door? I sent my friend a text message and turned my car on and sped to her house. I turned off my car and walked in. She asked me what was wrong but my look gave it all away and she let me go and rest. My mind was a blur. I can't run from anymore. He just won't let me escape.