As You Wave Me Goodbye

One

(Photo: Me, age 5, October 1945)

If you're reading this, you would probably consider yourself a Beatles fan.

Maybe, if you wanted to be a bit bolder, you would consider yourself the ultimate Beatles fan; the sort of fan who knows the band better than they know themselves.

Before you class yourself anywhere, here's a little piece of information that you never knew about The Beatles.

John Lennon had a twin sister.

Well, he always claimed he was an older sibling (mainly because he was almost a head taller); he would say it until he was blue in the face, but in actual fact he was the younger twin by ten minutes.

I was the older twin, although you wouldn't think it to look at me. When I was a little girl, I was small and slight with very fine brown hair. My personality matched my appearance: shy, quiet, and frankly unexciting. John helped to balance us out with his feisty, playful attitude and cheeky ways.

John could outrun me in a race, score a goal before I was halfway across the football field, and finish his milk as soon as I said "go". He took great joy in coming first and being best, but if I started crying because if fallen over or scraped my knee, he would come rushing over to comfort me and insist that I was the real winner.

"You did real well, Tracy," John would say as he wiped my tears away.

I'm Tracy, by the way. (It was needless to say, but I just did.) Well, actually, my full name is Anastasia Elizabeth Lennon, but I've always hated that name. I guess our mum did too, because she always called me Tracy, right from when I was a baby. I'm glad she did. I couldn't stand going through life with a silly name like Anastasia. John agreed.

"It's a stupid name, and besides, Tracy suits you better."

I thought so, too.

* * * *

This story starts on a chilly night, just before winter was due to arrive. John and I were barely five years old and essentially inseparable. We lived in Liverpool with our mum, Julia.

Our dad, Alfred, was away a lot because he served in the navy, so we didn't see him as often as we would have liked. He did come home for visits occasionally, and most of the time that was wonderful: he would mock wrestle with John, play paper games (like Noughts and Crosses or Hangman) with me, and tell us stories of his life on the ocean.

But as we got older Dad's visits began to dwindle. He hadn't even come to our 5th birthday party. Mum tried hard, though, insisting that we would have fun together, just the three of us. (We didn't exactly have many friends back then to invite over; all the children were scared of John and his wild ways, and I was simply too shy and silly to meet anyone new.)

"It's okay, Tracy," John said to me. "We'll make our own fun, you and me, okay?"

I nodded. "What will we do?"

John paused to think. "Hmm, I suppose we could go out into the hallway and muck around with the telephone."

My eyes widened. "Can we do that? Would Mummy let us?"

"No," John replied with a grin. "That's the fun of it!"

That's how we ended up flat on our backs, bright pink in the face and practically breathless from laughing. We called up random numbers (and, at one point, our Aunt Mimi) and uttered all kinds of silly nonsense to whichever poor soul was on the other end. Somehow, that was far better than a party.

John and I were happy together, but we didn't realise quite how much we really needed each other until the following week.

Dad showed up, out of the blue. He barged into the house, barely saying a word to Mum (who was dashing around with the feather duster at the time). All he said to her was: "Where are John and Tracy?"

John and I rushed out of our shared room and hung around on the upstairs landing, peering through the railings. There was Dad, still dressed up in his navy uniform, and Mum looking absolutely shellshocked in her usual red-and-white housewife outfit.

"Leaving?" we heard Mum say; she sounded horrified. "What do you mean you're leaving? You can't leave, especially not to go gallavanting all the way to the other side of the world!"

"I have to, Julia," Dad said wearily. "The navy commands it, so I have to go. But, of course... I'll get rather lonely... I'm going to miss you, Julia... and the children."

There was a heavy silence.

Mum's eyes widened. "No, Freddy. There is no way in hell you are doing this! They're my children!"

"Well, they're mine, too! I helped create them, so surely I'm just as responsible for them as you are!"

"You? Responsible? Oh yes, you're so bloody responsible," Mum spat. "You went off to sea and didn't come back for months! Months!"

"That couldn't be helped," said Dad. "The navy wanted me to -"

"You couldn't ever be bothered to come to your own son and daughter's birthday party!" Mum said, practically shouting by this time. "What rights do you have to take them away from me?"

"I'm their father, Julia," Dad said softly. "I need to see them. Maybe they can help us sort this nonsense out."

"You'll just try and turn them away from me!" Mum yelled. "Look, just get out of this house! You're not welcome here, Alfred Lennon! Go on!" She pointedly threw the door open. "Get out!"

Dad was completely helpless. He glanced upwards just for a moment and noticed us staring (mouths wide open in shock) down at him from the railings. He gave us a sad little smile and wave, then he left.

He didn't even say goodbye.

John and I peered down worriedly at our mother. She was curled up in a ball on the hard wooden floor, hands clutched to her chest. She was crying.

We raced down the stairs and threw ourselves at her: petting her hair, kissing her all over, repeating that it was going to be all right until it sounded like meaningless gabble. Mum barely noticed. She just put her arms around John and me and held us tight.

We stayed there on the floor for a long time, all of us crying together.

John and I had no idea what was going on, so how were we meant to prepare ourselves for the event that would change our lives forever?

* * * *
(A/N: Hello everyone! I'm Aurora-May, and thank you so very much for reading my first fanfiction! I hope you liked it. It's not completely original... I kinda drew inspiration from the writing styles of consulting_hedgehog, MissMaccaSunshine and AndILoveJohn - I hope you don't mind too much! Again, thank you for reading and I hope to update it for you soon! ~ Aurie ♡)