Warm Hands [Hiroomi x Akihito fanfic]

Chapter thirty: Fear of Being Alone

Akihito Kanbara

The next day, I felt much better so I decided to go to school. I couldn't handle missing another day anyway. All the make-up work might bring back the headache. The moment I woke up, I felt something missing. I looked around to try and find it, but everything was left the same. I walked into the kitchen and living room to find it empty. I look around for any signs, but all her stuff was gone. My mother had once again mysteriously disappeared.

Last time she left, it was when I came home from school three years ago. I never really questioned her why she came and went at random times. I guess her job was done, I always thought. My face frowned and looked around. I hated thinking that. Thinking that she only came to see if I was behaving like a human. Of course, mother's always checked up on their children, but this always felt different. Like I wasn't her son, I was her pet; a prisoner.

I looked in the fridge for something to eat for breakfast. A container grabbed my attention so I pulled it out. I didn't remember having leftovers. I opened it to find homemade pancakes. My eyes watered as I stared down at her gift. I smiled and sat the container down, heated two up, and ate them silently in my empty dinning room.

I guess no matter what, she'll love me like a son.

I grabbed my mittens and a small scarf and headed outside, locking the door behind me. I showed no emotion as I walked toward Hiroomi and mine's meeting spot. The sky was covered with gray clouds and the air was slightly less chillier than last week's temperature. I bet Hiroomi is happy that Spring is finally coming around. I grinned from the thought of the dark haired boy. No matter what, he was always there. I couldn't comprehend why he loved me. I was dangerous, self-destructive. Every time he's around me, he had the possibility of being attacked, since I was never able to control myself when in yumo form. Why would he put himself in the way of danger? I felt my grin quickly disappear, and then reappear when I met eyes with Hiroomi. He wore a thick scarf, as usual, and a warm pea coat. I smiled at him and gave him a good morning hug.

"How are you?" He whispered through our hug. I squeezed him tighter.

"Much better now that I'm with you." He pulled me out of the hug and looked at me with a half smile.

"Everything okay?" He asked. I guess he could see the disappointment on my face from when I woke up alone this morning. I shrugged and looked to the side.

"Yeah, just...my mother left. That's all." He sighed and flashed me sad eyes. He patted my shoulder and pecked my cheek gently.

"Don't worry, Akkey. I won't ever leave you." He said while grinning. So adorable, I blushed and raised my hand to his cheek. His face was ice cold, colder than my fingers. He put his even colder hands on top of them and leaned into mine.

"Unless you loose your warmth." He joked. I laughed and leaned forward for a kiss. His lips were actually warm unlike the rest of his body. He turned and started walking toward school. He stopped and waited for me to follow. I trudged up behind him.

      "Go to school, you pervert." I smirked and kicked his butt gently as he started moving away. He laughed and then put his hand to his heart.

      "Ouch." He half-smiled and looked at me. I laughed and started walking next to him.

    "You're just as bad as me, Akkey." He protested and crossed his arms.  I nudged him slightly while rolling my eyes.

     "I have no doubt about it." Although, I wasn't talking about being a pervert. I was actually very mature for my age. I was talking about being a bad person. The fact that I hurt Hiroomi long ago truly haunted me to this day. I still feel awful about it.

For some reason, a flashback intruded my mine without asking. My eyes moved toward Hiroomi and all I saw was blood on his cheek with his back teared apart. His smile turned into an angry one. One full of rage and sadness. I couldn't tell if this was a flashback anymore. He limped and I backed away, practically screaming internally. Hiroomi stared at me with concern.

   "Hey? Is something wrong?" He moved toward me with a bloody hand. I covered my ears and fell to my knees. No, not again.

    "Akihito!" He went down with me and tried to talk to me. I felt my hands shake from the thoughts. Go away, I wanted to yell, I don't want to hurt you. I felt hot tears daring to escape my eyes. My teeth clammed down on my bottom lip to hold back a scream. I wanted so badly to scream, to run away, but I was frozen in place. My yumo side scratched at the surface of my mental state. Hiroomi suddenly pried my hands off my ears and trapped me into a hug.

    "It's okay, Akihito. I'm here." He rubbed my back in circles and shushed me slowly. I felt my breathing slow and my visions vanished. While trying to keep a steady breath, my hands grabbed ahold of his pea coat and I felt one of my eyes give into the emotions. A single tear fell from my right eye and landed on Hiroomi's shoulder. I buried my head on top of the tear and continued to spill.

    "Why does she leave?" I croaked. Hiroomi's body tensed up and his hands stopped in the middle of rubbing. My body hiccuped and I felt steamy tears roll down my cheeks.

    "Why can't I just be normal?" I almost yelled those words. My heart dropped into my stomach as I continued to ramble and get angry in my head.

    "Why do you love me?" Hiroomi stiffened and his body relaxed. The silence made me feel even more awful. Why are you hesitating? He finally spoke, softly.

    "Why do I love you?" I then lifted up from his shoulder and stared deeply into his eyes. They shimmered with a glossy effect.

    "That's a silly question, don't you think?"  I was left speechless. But before I could even respond, he lifted his finger to my lips and gave me a sub-smile.

    "How could I not love you, Akkey? You're unique, smart, adorable, funny, nice; everything I want in a guy. Akihito, if you were normal, I'd still love you, but where's the fun in that? You're a half-yumo–so what? I can handle that. Please stop dwelling in the past already. I'm fine, I'm still here! Stop blaming everything on not being normal. I can't stand seeing you beat yourself up like this." A tear fell from his eye, but he didn't bother wiping it away. He clenched my jacket. His head fell weightlessly onto my chest as he started to lose his manly posture.

     "Why can't you just accept my love?" His voice cracked on love, his hands shivering against my jacket. My face drooped as I thought about it in his perspective. I have been blaming myself without thinking about how Hiroomi felt. The fact that I couldn't accept myself, was hurting him, too.

I then cupped his face in my mittens and lifted it up. I could see several streaks of tears on his face. His eyes were red and his nose was running a little. I moved my thumb along his cheek and wiped away his tears. He then lifted his hands and started to wipe away my tears with his forefinger. He smiled and I smiled back. Our smiles turned into giggles which grew into laughter. We both laughed at how silly we've been acting. So emotionally. We then started to play around on the ground.

    "I never knew manly Hiroomi could cry like that." I smirked. He tackled me and pushed me over.

    "I never knew baby Akkey could doubt me like that." He shot back. I chuckled then reached my hands up to his face once again.

     "Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking." We then joined in the middle for a passionate kiss.

    "I'm sorry," I said in between the kiss. He smiled and winked down at me after we finished our kiss.

    "Apology accepted." A ringing noise came from off in the distance. We both gazed off into that direction and then stared at each other. We scrambled off the ground and bolted toward the school. We're late for school!!!

A/n: Yay, omg, short chapter but I hope the content moved you a little like it did with me. ヽ(；▽；)ノ
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Next update: April 29th