When We Were Young

Epilogue

"Mom, what's this?" The young girl asked as she flipped through the pages of a tattered and well worn journal she'd unearthed from a moving box.

Ben insisted they stay in New York after they married, where Sabrina could stay close to her thriving business. She wholeheartedly agreed, but desired a modest home until they grew enough to warrant a larger one. That time had finally come and they were happily settling into the abode of their dreams, a roomy brownstone close to Central Park.

"Lemme see, hun." Sabrina took her own personal memoir from her daughter's hand and flipped to a random page, smiling as she read the entry.

July 19th, 2003

It's Ben's birthday today. I miss him so much. Every day I think about calling him but I'm too scared. I want to tell him about college and how I'm majoring in English Lit...just like he said I would.

I had a dream about him a few nights ago. I dreamt that he just showed up at my sorority on a white horse and we rode off into the sunset. Like a fairytale. Like he was my Prince Charming. I wish it could be like that.

My mom says he's been on a couple television shows...I haven't watched them. I don't know if I ever will.

I wish you could give me the answers I need...oh, all knowing diary of mine.

I should call him. It's his birthday. He's probably busy.

I probably won't call...I'm just too scared. I'll just write all my woes in here. I've got to get them out somehow.

Til next time...

"You majored in English Lit?" Her daughter asked, quirking her nose up. Sabrina chortled at the look on her face, for it was exactly the face Ben would make when he was at a loss for words.

"Of course I did, Hero. Where do you think your name came from?"

"I know, Mom," Hero rolled her eyes as she replied. "Dad tells me all the time, 'When you're old enough to really understand Shakespeare, it will change your life.'" She mimicked her father's British accent perfectly, even at the young age of eleven; she was a card, just like Ben.

"He's right," Sabrina declared, handing the journal back to her daughter. Hero dug into the pages, sitting cross-legged on the floor of their library. Sabrina returned to the boxes of books that still needed to be appropriated. Her daughter's chuckling distracted her yet again and she turned around to find her on her way out, calling for her Dad.

Hero crossed the living room and a styrofoam dart struck the journal, sending it flying from her hands. Raucous laughter ensued.

"Dash! You jerk! That's Mom's--"

"Hey now! You two best not start that already. We're not even moved in all the way yet!" Ben scolded as he approached them, arms loaded down with linens for the hall closet.

"I wanted to show you Mom's journal and he shot it out of my hands like a--"

"Dad! I didn't mean to," Dash turned on the charm, making his sister's blood boil. He was always the one to instigate trouble on the sly and play the perfect angel when it was time for reprimanding.

"Dash, you're supposed to be putting your things away," Ben gave his son a disapproving look over the top of his glasses.

"But I need hellllllp," the boy whined.

"Dash, you're seven years old. If you can aim a nerf gun at your sister and shoot a book from her hands, you can put your things away on your own."

The boy huffed and spun around, sticking his tongue out at his sister before tending to his mess. Ben chuckled to himself as he retrieved the journal from the floor. Ray had never let him read it so it came as a pleasant surprise to find it in Hero's possession.

"Where'd you find this, love?" he asked.

"Mom's unpacking the library. It was in a box. Look at this one," she took it from Ben and flipped to a particular page.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight."

"Dad, this is so cheesy. Did mom write this?" she asked, snapping the journal shut.

Ben grinned from ear to ear and explained to Hero once again that they had a particularly torturous separating in their late teenage years. "That, my Hero is a very emotionally charged song by a band called the Goo Goo Dolls. I believe it was from a popular movie around the time it came out. Your mother just missed me so much that she tortured herself with sad love songs instead of just calling me up--"

"The phone works both ways, Benny boy," Sabrina chided him as she extracted the diary from her daughter's hands.

"Hey! I was reading that!" Hero shrieked.

"I know you were, now it's getting hidden again. I don't need my daughter and husband picking on me for my emo teenage ramblings."

"I think it's cute," Ben added as he pulled Sabrina in close and kissed her cheek. Hero made a gagging noise and scuttled off to her room, away from the parental pda situation. Sabrina let out an exasperated sigh and relaxed into Ben's arms.

"I'd never pick on you about those years, Ray...and if I did, you know I wouldn't mean it."

"I appreciate that but I'm still not letting you read my journal, babe."

Ben stuck out his bottom lip in a pout to which Sabrina accepted as an invitation to kiss him. For a moment, she was taken back to their first kiss on the rooftop of her tiny apartment in Chelsea. It seemed like ancient history to her; the beginning of a span of time in their lives marked by numerous movie roles, multiple bookstore locations and two children.

"Is it starting to feel like home yet?" he asked quietly, his face still inches from hers.

"As long as I have you, anywhere we go will feel like home."