my life of art...

venting... *please skip...*

I...
Know the world is cruel...
I know...
The rules are unfair...
And I can do nothing about it...

And I don't want you to go...
I've lost to much...
Saved to little...

And I've done to many horrible things...
You all see a, kind, depressed, girl..
No no... I am depressed..
But I am not as kind as I seem..

I have doubts about most people..
I don't trust alot..

But if I we're to be honest, people would be hurt from my ungreatful words.
I feed off of negativity, hate, suffering and all of the above..
But you.. you are the one... the one that who has changed me..

So please stop.. please stop my dear, I don't want to see you hurt..
I don't want you to leave either.. and I love you so much..
I know, I've cheated and manipulated my way here..
And it's cruel to say your the only one I, truly, trust..

And the fear of losing you...
Is to much..

And your so far away...
And I'm so scared you'll be taken away..
Tears and blood has consumed both of us..
On our wrists.. in our eyes..
We've hurt eachother once before..

And is it bad to say, I still love you this way?
Ha! The crazy alcoholic and the broken geeky girl..
Who would've expected this..

And if the world must be cruel...

And you truly have to go..

Then I'll go with you...

Because living without you, would be misery..
I hate to see this happen, my death would hurt alot people..
But if meant going with you.. then I would do it..

Some will stop me..

I know..
They just care to much..

But if they could understand, that you are the reason why I'm so kind and funny..
That you gave me life, then I'm sure they would move on..

I know im running out of time..
I know you'll leave one day, the voices in your head haunt you...
And I know your planning your own death..
So with the time I have..

I want to let you know.

Your the best thing..

And I mean the best thing, to ever happen to me..

And I'm gonna try to save you.. with the last bit of determination I have...

And if I dont..

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry to everyone who got so close to me..
Because you might lose me..
And I know the pain of losing someone very much..

Consider this a borderline suicidal love note.

Now let's see how long we last..