Trapezoid (The Base)

Chapter 34

It wasn't like Chris had always dreamed it would be. She'd fantasized it to be filled with happiness.

It wasn't.

Not only did she feel crushed, but also like a loser. For the briefest moment, she'd given in to her emotions. Lord knew she regretted it. She regretted having entered this van. She regretted having run to this man for help this morning. She regretted it all! Tears streamed down her face, her mascara running.

Levi had morphed once again. He was frustrated or angry with her. She could tell. His kiss was rough and forceful, his hands biting into her shoulders.

He pulled away. She shot up to her feet, moving as far as possible from him. She thought he was someone worth her feelings. He wasn't. She thought he was slowly turning away from his callous, hard-hearted self. He wasn't. Sobs racked her body. She thought he cared about her. He didn't. She was nothing but something to be used, in his eyes.

She wanted to hate the despicable monster. "How could you?" she croaked out.

He was defiantly silent.

"What did I ever do to deserve the way you've treated me?" She sank to her knees, trembling. Furious, she scrubbed at her lips—and spat at his feet. She glared at him through her tears. "That's less than you deserve, you son of a—" She swallowed convulsively. "Frog." She expected him to return how she couldn't even curse.

But he stayed silent.

She saw no evidence of remorse for what he'd done, form as smug as possible.

As the minutes rolled, silence between them, her heart in pieces, she willed to hate him.

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Thomas tried acting nonchalant around his brother as he talked about Kristal. He was trying to discredit her, but Thomas saw nothing discrediting about what he said.

"Thomas, she is as chaste as the Virgin Mary, and maybe has as much stupid guts as John the Baptist who got himself beheaded!"

Thomas shrugged at his brother's use of Biblical people.

"And I swear," Thomas ears pricked up. "If she doesn't show up before three this afternoon, she'll have no idea what hit her."

Thomas almost prayed Kristal's God will have favor on her. He wasn't sure God would listen to someone like him, but he tried anyway. His heart asked for her protection.

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Chris felt like a zombie. She hardly remembered the cab ride from the flea market to the Greenwood estate. She forgot about all the responsibilities she needed to attend to, locking herself in her room and throwing herself on her bed. She wept into her pillow to muffle the sound. "Father God, it hurts!" She twisted the covers with her fist. "I'm so angry!" The ball in her throat burst, a river of tears flowing. "He's a beast," she crackled out. His name wasn't worth mentioning in prayer. She trembled in rage. "God, I'm tired of all this—including him!"

I am your strength when you are weak. His voice was so quiet—yet so distinct and familiar. He spoke straight to her heart.

Her weeping subsided. "I don't want to go on." She lifted her eyes to the ceiling. "Oh, God, I'm broken. I don't want to forgive him. I can't forgive him—even though I know that's what You want me to do."