Full Throttle

Chapter Three

In the waiting room, JJ puts a comforting hand on Garcia’s shoulder. “It isn’t Derek’s fault, Garcia. He knows that. It’ll just take time.”

“I don’t know,” Garcia counters, using a crumpled up tissue to soak up her tears. Prentiss sits on the other side of her, also attempting to calm her down. Hotch and Rossi had said they were going to find a coffee machine, but JJ suspects they were just giving the girls space to deal with the news in their “girl way,” as Rossi had once called it.

“You didn’t see him in there. He was so...mad. And then...when Dr. Ramirez told him about...I just can’t imagine how he reacted.” All three women fall silent, recalling the same news that the doctor had told them just before going to speak with Morgan. JJ and Prentiss had held onto one another in the hallway for what felt like hours. Rossi excused himself to get some fresh air, and even Hotch had to sit down for a while. It had been Prentiss who told Garcia, and she’d been sitting in hysterics ever since.

“Morgan is experiencing the seven stages of grief,” Rossi informs the girls, walking back into the room with three cups of coffee. He hands one to Prentiss and Garcia, and Hotch gives the extra one in his hand to JJ.

“Seven? I thought there were only five?” Garcia asks. That’s what her therapist had told her when both of her parents died, and that is what she’s always believed and taught as a grief counselor.

“It depends on which theory you follow,” Hotch tells them. “Some say five. Others say seven. One even says fourteen.”

“He’s right,” Rossi agrees. “One model can’t possibly explain grief for everyone. We all handle it differently.”

“Well where is Morgan at on this model, supposing it’s the same for everyone?” Prentiss asks, curious now about the science behind the process.

“Stages two and three. The first is shock, but it’s primarily used as emotional protection. Morgan’s tough. His brain probably wouldn’t feel the need to protect his heart. The second stage is pain and guilt. Garcia said that Morgan feels the accident is his fault, right?” Garcia nods at Rossi, a blank, painful expression still plastered to her face. “The third is anger. Let’s be honest. When is Morgan not angry when one of his friends are hurt?”

The team thinks to themselves. Morgan comes off as the “tough guy” of the BAU. No one would argue with him, but they also know there’s another side to him. He’s protective by nature, and he often masks pain with anger. Instead of allowing himself to empathize with a friend, he manifests his feelings into anger and goes after whoever hurt them in the first place. In this case, it is him, or so he believes.

“I thought we agreed not to profile each other.”

JJ, Prentiss, Garcia, Rossi, and Hotch all turn their attention to a familiar voice, where they see Agent Morgan standing, still in his hospital gown, bandages, and sling. His skin is paler than usual and, if you look close enough, you’ll see that his hands are trembling. Rossi notices this, but can’t be sure if it’s from shock or fatigue.

“They released you?” Prentiss asks, stepping up and giving Morgan a gentle hug. He returns it with his good arm, and then turns to speak to the rest of his team.

“Not technically. I have to sign some paperwork and stuff first.” Morgan hesitates. He almost feels bad for what he is about to do. “Dr. Ramirez is going to let me see Reid.” At his words, everyone jumps anxiously to their feet.

“He isn’t supposed to have visitors in intensive care.” Morgan breaks the news, now looking down at his shoeless feet instead of the people in front of him. “They’re making an exception for me.”