To Forgive Is To Forget - A Johnlock Fanfiction.

Chapter 1

*John*

2 years. 2 bloody years he has been gone.

I sat on the edge of my bed and threw my head into my hands. I miss him so much, I can still see him, his lifeless body lay on the ground, covered in blood. Even the smallest most stupidest things remind me of it, like tomato sauce for example.  I know it sounds stupid but when I look at it all I can see is the sea of blood that surrounded his head.

I visit his grave everyday and repeat the same routine. I get up early in the morning and go to the florists to buy some flowers, then I get the cab to the graveyard and sit there for an hour or so. I tell him what I did the day before, I know he can't hear me or reply to me but its comforting. I tell him how much everyone misses and that he needs to come back. He never listens to that part.

Sometimes I would sit there for the whole day. No words, just tears. Those days I didn't like and I felt like today was one of those days.

I get up out of bed and get ready to go. I walk to the florists and pick up a few red roses and head to his grave. Yep, I knew it. It was one of those days. I sat there with my legs crossed and my head buried in my arms. I had so much to say, so much to tell him, but I couldn't get it out. Every time I tried to say something my voice would crack and more tears would erupt from my eyes. I sat there and cried harder than I have ever cried before.

"Goodbye, John."

The last words I ever heard. I decided to leave as I couldn't bare it any longer, so I got up and backed out of the graveyard and into a cab.

*Back at 221B*

"Oh, John! You're home early!"

"Yes, Mrs. Hudson. I er- it started to rain."

She drew back the curtains and looked out the window. She could clearly see there was no rain, not even a cloud to be seen. She knew I was lying.

"Ohh. You miss him don't you?"

"Well that's one way to put it."

"We all miss him, John, but we have to move on."

"IT'S NOT THAT EASY, Mrs. Hudson! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout."

I got up and went to my room, slamming the door behind me.  I threw myself onto my bed and buried my face in my pillow. I forced myself to try and forget about it, just for a while, but I couldn't.

My eyes wandered over to the desk next to my bed and I noticed  a small brown sphere sat in the corner. I flicked the light on and picked it up. It was an apple, a very old one. I put it back down and saw that there was something carved into the other side.

"I O U"

Moriarty.

The apple he left for Sherlock when he was last here. Before I could say anything, I reached for the apple and catapulted it at the wall, leaving nothing but tiny pieces of mushed apple everywhere.

The stress was too much, I needed him back.

I miss him.

I...I love him.