May 2014
"I don't understand...." Junmyeon's eyes search the Chinese man's face for something...anything that might give him a clue as to what he is actually thinking. The air around them is heavy, making it hard on their tired lungs. Just afew days ago they were happy, chit chatting until way too late about their upcoming promotions and leading the group together, as two halves of a whole. Now the whole is breaking in half and Junmyeon fears there's little he can do to stop it.
"I just...really miss my family"
"We all miss our families, Yifan..." at the sound of his real name, Wu Yifan finally looks up, after attempting to avoid the other's eyes since he first walked into the small dorm room. What he sees brings out in him the most unpleasant feeling of guilt he has ever felt in his 23 years of living. Thinking it over and over again the night before, to the point of getting an hour of sleep at the most, he was certain this was the best course of action. Noe he's not so sure anymore. The desperate and heartbroken look on EXO's strong and caring leader's face makes the situation one hundred times harder than he prepared himself for.
"I know- It's just...different. My family is in another country and I can barely even talk to them over the phone..." he mutters, his eyes meeting Junmyeon's for a split second before racing off to a random pencil lying on the table behind him, unable to look the former in the eyes. "and my health has been getting worse, you know better than anyone how they've been overworking us all!"
Silence....more than enough to tell Yifan that the man sitting across from him doesn't believe a word he's saying. Or at the very least not all of it.
Despite all attempts to be cool, and pretending to be the emotionally strong man he set out to be from the beginning, Junmyeon always managed...somehow...to see right through him. And for some reason only known to god, and probably cupid if the creatur even exists, he's the only one capable of bringing out Yifan's softest, most emotional side. The side he refuses to awknowlege he has. Out of the corner of his slightly swollen, sleepless eyes, Yifan can see the man staring back at him, waiting patiently for the truth; something the Chinese member promised himself he would never tell. Not to the company, not to the rest of the members and most certainly not to Junmyeon. But now, sitting here, looking at the broken man sitting across from him that's so silently waiting for something comforting to come out of Yifan's mouth, he can feel his determination crumbling like pouder.
"If you've got the guts to come here and tell me...you're leaving-" his voice is trembling, just barely, but enough for Yifan to notice. Enough to make him feel like a rotten human being. "then at least...at least tell me the real reason-" Yifan can clearly see the tears threatening to fall down the man's face. Each of them like a punch to his gut. He has seen Junmyeon cry before, both out of happiness and sadness, but he'd sworn he would never be a reason for his tears.
just another promise he's going to break today.
"Junmyeon, don't-"
"Don't what...?" there's a crack in his soft voice that tells Yifan he has already lost before the battle even began. Not that he had high expectations of winning. "what should I not do? Please tell me, since you can't seem to be able to tell me anything else. Should I not ask? Should I just sit here and accept it and pretend to believe your excuses-? Am I just...supposed to pretend like everything is okay and that this doesn't hurt at all!" This is the first time Junmyeon has ever raised his voice at any of the members, and Yifan prays that it will be the last. His usually steady, soothing voice is trembling even more now, but he's sill refusing to cry. Yifan mentally commends him for being so incredibly strong. Something he himself is not.
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Dad Jokes
FanfictionEven after three years, Yifan's feelings for Junmyeon remain unchanged. What will it take for the person he loves the most to forgive him?