The Past

A look back

It's been two weeks since the party, and if you're wondering what happened after my blackout... Well... I woke up in bed next to Cooper, naked. Yeah, yeah. We had sex. But that's not exactly new to me. We sorted it out and acted like nothing ever happened, but I still remember those fireworks. Like a fucking was going on in my stomach. Let me feel you in on what I've been don't these two weeks... Drinking. I went to like six parties and had sex with like 12 guys. Slut, right? But I stopped at the end of last week. No more parties. I have just been hanging at my house and doing nothing. I wonder what Cooper has been doing.. Gosh, I can't get him the fuck out of my head!

I've come to conclusion that I like him. Like a lot. But I can't let him know. I've only saw him twice since our 'nite'. The first time was for like five minutes and all we did was awkwardly glance at each other. The second was better, we talked and 'got to know each other', more like him asking me questions about my past and me completely changing the subject. I felt like a coward. I wanted to tell him, really. But he would be disgusted. Just like my parents were. My brother was, at first. But he helped me through the tough times. Especially, the toughest time. The last nine months of my bad past, were the worst. I started over after those nine months were over. I still think about her everyday. I still miss her and love her, but I just couldn't. I was to young. She would've hated me. I just know it. I still remember that family, the way they looked at me.

-FLASHBACK-

"Hello! You must be the Dean family? I'm Mackeynzie and this-" I said pointing to my stomach "- is Annabell"

I didn't want to do this, but I have to! I'm only fourteen!

"Yes, dear! That's us. We just wanted to say we are so thankful for this. I'm so glad we get a child of our own, well almost." Mrs. Dean said with sorrow, guilt, pity, and love in her eyes.

"Well, we have to interview first, then I'll decide if you're the family or not." I replied a bit harsher than intended. I didn't want to give up this precious gift of life, it's just the father is gone, and I'm ONLY FOURTEEN! I won't be able to do this.. And me and my brother are moving to London after she's here, to start over. I'll have to go to regard for about seven months so I can 'get better'. I don't want Annabell to have a terrible mum. So this is my only option.

"Of course, love. Let's start!" Mr. Dean said.

"I've got some stuff you'll have to do. Whenever she turns ten, she is to know about me, about how I was to young, and how I am her real mother, not you. She is to know her biological father was a douche and he is to not be in the picture at all." I thought about these rules for a long time, I knew she would hate me for giving her up, but I still wanted to meet her.

"Of course babe!" Mrs. Dean exclaimed

"Also, I have a letter, for her. When she is ten she will read it. Also, I want pictures Of her. Every week. If you fail to keep in touch with me, I will give her a new family. I want to know about her. What her first words are, when she takes her first steps, when she rides a bike, when she is potty trained. Everything." I wanted to be a part of her life, I just hope they agree with the next rule. It'll be hard to convince them.

"That's fine! We are happy to abide by these!" Mr. Dean cheerfully said.

"Last one... It might be hard, but I wanted to be in he life. Physically. I want to be seen as her aunt. I want her to come over to my house and bake with me. That's all the rules. I understand if that's hard to agree with, but if you want her then you'll hav-" I was cut off by them cheering and jumping.

"YES! Of course! You'll be her aunt!" The exclaimed.

"And of her godmother?" I was hoping that wasn't to much to ask.

"Perfect! lets sign these papers!"

-END PF FLASHBACK-

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the tears drip on my hands. Annabell has grown so much. Of course, Mr. And Mrs. Dean, or shall I say Susan and George, kept there promises. Bell comes over all the time, and she loves me dearly. I like to feel like we have that special "mother- daughter bond" but I'm not seen as her mother to her.... I'm her 'fave auntie' as she says. Yes, she's four now and talks like she's thirty! She's so smart! To be honest she looks JUST like me. She's gorgeous and she calls me Auntie Kay. I just wish I could've waited a bit until I had her, so I could've kept her. But it's okay. I'll get through with it. I was knocked out of my thoughts by my phone buzzing

From: Susan!

Annie really wants to see you, is that okay? xxx

I replied quickly

To: Susan

Of course! Bring her right over! I'm always happy to see that special little girl! Xxx

She only lives about five minutes away, so when the doorbell range two minutes later it didn't surprise me. But when i got down there, my brother was standing there with Cooper...