" I have to do something. I can't lose her." I said quietly in fear of someone else hearing me. I felt the tears pouring out of my eyes, knowing there was nothing I could do to stop the fate of my unborn child. The government would take her from me, because they had long ago blamed the parents for the misdeeds of humanity. They believed if they were to raise all children the same, to worship their rules and their ideals of what a person should be, this would fix the corruption that had overcome the world. Everyone was raised in a facility where freedom was scarce and obedience was your main expectation. What they didn't realize is the resentment it cause some of us to feel, mainly those of us whose parents chose to see us on our 18th birthdays.
I remember the day so vividly, I was almost certain they wouldn't come because so few would due to the fact they knew the government had already told you all the awful things that parents of the past had done to their children. That day a woman who I knew worked in the office section of my facility came to pull me out of my lesson. I was confused, scared I had done something wrong but reluctantly followed her down the hallway to this strange section of the building I had never been too since they didn't allow you to wonder. She stopped in front of the door at the very end of the hallway and spoke
"If at any point you feel the need to exit you may do so, this is not required of you."
"What isn't required of me?" I replied.
"You're parents are here to see you, this is your 18th birthday correct? You are Nora 9078?"
I nodded in response, feeling as if my heart had stopped causing me to be unable to speak.
"Please take as much time as you need, but be mindful you have an ongoing lesson you are missing."
She opened the door immediately giving me no time to prepare myself, I felt the urge to run as far away from the room as I could but my curiosity wouldn't let me, I was about the meet the people who I was created from. I stepped into the room it was cold and the walls were cement and there was a small camera in the corner of the room. I looked around and saw two people sitting on a grey couch. I locked eyes with a skinny frail looking man, his eyes opened wide when he saw me, he seemed almost excited. My eyes then switched to the woman next to him, I immediately saw a resemblance I hadn't with the man. She had the same gentle features as me although her face was lightly aged. She smiled at me, and gestured at the seat in front of her. I slowly moved not able to look away from them, unable to grasp that it was reality and sat down in the cushioned grey seat in front of them.
"Nora?" she said in a sweet inviting voice surprisingly different from mine.
I nodded at them.
The man spoke next " It is such a pleasure to meet you. As you must already be aware we are your parents. My name is Vincent." His voice was low and rough yet warm. He stuck out his hand, as if to shake mine but I couldn't bring myself to pull my hand up to meet his. The woman spoke to break the awkward moment just as he moved his hand back to his side.
"I am Lilith, although I do prefer Lily."
"Hello Vincent, Hello Lily." I murmured just loud enough to be audible to them.
Vincent then continued "Now I'm sure you're wondering what made us come today, to answer that we both agreed that seeing you was important to us. Whether you feel the resentment we felt of our own parents growing up we wanted to see you, we wanted to let you know that we have thought of you everyday."
Lilly then started talking her voice much lower than before " The hardest day of our life was when they took you from us, you were such a beautiful baby, you still are very beautiful. It's hard to believe it's only been 18 years since I last saw you it feels as if it's been a century. Please tell us about yourself ? "
Vincent immediately added on for her "Only if you feel comfortable with that."
I didn't speak for a moment, unsure of what to say. I didn't know what they wanted to hear but I felt that I should tell them something, at least the basics. Eventually I spoke " I'm majoring in Botany, I've been very fascinated with nature since I was a child. I'm to graduate from this facility in April and they have already located me to a botanical garden."
Vincent smiled while I spoke and quickly replied with "That is very interesting, me and your mother met while I was working in a botanical garden. I also am a botanist, your mother is an environmental scientist." I was shocked when he said this but I also found myself wanting to know more about these people, they allowed few scientist anymore as they were not necessary for survival only those who scored exceptionally would even be considered.
"Would you tell me about that, your work? I've seen few scientist and only one botanist never have I had a one on one discussion with them." I felt myself smile a bit as I got more comfortable with these circumstances, I could see that my curiosity of them also made them quite happy. They gladly spoke of their work, both of them started to fascinate me. They asked me questions about myself as well, which I gladly answered and I felt us starting to bond so quickly. I told them of my childhood, which they confirmed was nearly identical to theirs and we spoke of our similarities which there were so many more than all three of us had expected. I regretting being slightly cold to them in the beginning. We laughed together at some points, my mother even shed a few tears and the time flew by. By the time I had checked it again it had been way over an hour and the professor of my next lesson may be upset with me but I couldn't bring myself to leave the room not knowing if I would see these astounding people again. We continued to bond over our lives for a while until I realized I had already missed most of the lesson and knew if I stayed longer I may be penalized.
"I'm sorry to do this but I have to go, my lesson should be finishing soon. It was lovely meeting you I hope I do again. You are incredible people. You coming here today has meant alot to me." I said hesitantly not really wanting to finish the conversation.
My mother replied first "The pleasure was all ours, you're an astonishing and beautiful young woman. We hope to see you again as well. We wish you the best in the rest of your life." she stood as she finished and my father did as well then he spoke.
"This time has really meant a lot to us, you are always in our prayers and always will be. You will do exceptional things I am sure. Thank you so much for talking with us today it means more than you know."
After he finished he came up to me and hugged me, which was something I had done very rarely in my life but it felt nice. My mother hugged me after him, much tighter as though she couldn't bring herself to let me go. I could tell how much they cared for me, how much I really meant to these people, my parents who before this were strangers to me. I said goodbye one last time before I opened the door and left. I felt regret about leaving but knew I didn't have much of a choice.
I thought of them everyday afterwards, I didn't understand how people that compassionate and intelligent couldn't have gave me a life better than the one I was given. I found myself wondering for years how parents could be incapable of caring for their own children, when those people obviously cared a great deal about me and prior to that experience knew nothing about me other than our shared DNA. I told myself I would never have a child, I could never give away my child to have a life in a facility where your life revolved around only intellectual growth and obedience. Being taught your parents cared nothing about you when that simply wasn't true.
Yet seven years after that experience on my 25th birthday I found myself five months pregnant and scared I would never see my unborn child grow, my daughter never knowing how much its mother truly cared for her. Crying to my husband on the floor of our apartment, he wrapped me in his arms to hold me and pulled his fingers through my hair put his mouth to my ear and spoke as softly as he could.
"I've heard of a place quite far from here, where we could raise our child Nora."
I couldn't believe what he was saying, I couldn't believe that a place like that existed as far as anyone knew this was the only place, the only government.
"What are you saying? That can't be true." I whispered back
"It is, I know of a woman who went. I believe it was Xavier's wife."
"Xavier's wife died during labor." and then I realized how rare it was for women to actually die during labor, the last death similar had been over a decade before and never had it been the mother and the child. I then remembered how quickly Xavier had overcome that loss. "It can't be. She couldn't have, how is that possible?"
"I'm not sure, but I will find out. I have to."
"How do you know this?"
"I mentioned to him how hard of a time you were having. He walked me into the farthest part of the garden, he was so scared he could barely talk about it, although he said it was possible."
"Troy I wouldn't leave you ."
"Hopefully you won't have to my love, but you may not have a choice." he moved his mouth from my ear and spoke again at a much louder volume "Why don't we head to bed it's getting quite late."
"I suppose you're right." I said standing up and imagining for the first time a life where my child was mine. I prepared for bed, I slipped into my nightgown and crawled into bed full of hope. For the first night since the news of my pregnancy I was able to sleep uninterrupted.
The next day I woke early and prepared for work. Troy had already left, while we worked in the same garden we had very different jobs. He was a gardener, the best in the district, and he planted and prepared the flowers while I worked inside examining them. Mainly I've been studying how the pollution in other parts of the world affects them, creating synthetic environments we then place the plants in. After I prepared myself I made a quick salad and headed out. The work day seemed just like every other except today I was completely distracted. I had to prepare a particular environment four times and I could tell my assistant, Sevia, was quite concerned because she knew it was unlike me but said nothing most likely blaming it on the hormones.
When I arrived home Troy was nowhere to be seen, which didn't alarm me until the sun began to set. Millions of scenarios began to flash through my head and until I was very worked up. I was genuinely panicking scared he had been caught talking to Xavier, knowing that would mean I would never see him again. I decided the best thing to do would be to take a shower, knowing that would distract me. Although being alone under the running water only caused me to feel more overcome with the awful possibilities, as what happens to those who disobeyed is unknown. They are just never seen again. It was 3 hours after the sunset around 22:00 when I heard him come through the door, he was calm, almost too calm due to the fact he must have known I was worried. I was in the main room curled up on our red sofa distracting myself with a documentary about the past. He said hello and went to our room to switch out of his work uniform and when he came back his demeanor had changed, he was smiling, which caused me to as well. Immediately after I remembered my previous panic and questioned his whereabouts which he replied by telling me we needed to talk.
"Give me a second, I'll meet you in the bedroom." I said getting up and grabbing a cup of tea and bracing myself for what was to come. Then I followed him into the room and sat on the bed while he continued to stand.
"What is it?" I said pretending I was calm.
"I talked to Xavier. I arranged for the three of us to get together to discuss these circumstances. He says he will do everything in his power to help us." He then lowered his voice a considerable amount and said "we will be a family Nora."
I didn't reply, I just stood and wrapped my arms around him. I had a million questions but none of them needed answered immediately, all I needed to know right then was that I wouldn't lose my daughter. While I knew whatever it would take to find this magical place would be hard, I was willing to do anything and I just had to hope that was enough.
"Thank you." I said to him as I slowly released him from my grip.
"Don't thank me. this is for us Nora, I want this as bad as you do." He whispered into my ear "I'm sorry I was out so late I know you must have been concerned. I was talking to Xavier and then I took some time to think on my own about this. Before I knew it the time had flown by. "
"It's okay, everything's going to be okay." I smiled then continued " let's get some rest, so we can be awake when we discuss this tomorrow." I crawled under the covers pulling him into the bed with me. Wrapping myself in his body the best I could without applying pressure to our child. I began to doze off immediately, although just before sleep I heard a faint "I love you" leave the lips of his mouth. Once again I was able to sleep through the night.
I slept in later than I had in months, it was almost 11 but thankfully I didn't have work as it was saturday. I jumped in the shower and when I got out troy had surprised me by laying breakfast on our bed. Bacon and Eggs, my favorite. I changed and then ate it quickly. I heard voices from outside the room and knew Xavier must have already arrived. I prepared myself by taking a few deep breaths and opened the door, walking into the living room I saw him and troy sitting on the couch. the room was dark because they had pulled the blinds shut.
"Hello Nora, it's nice to see you." xavier said in a very happy manner "please sit".
I did as he asked and replied "I would just like to thank you before we begin talking, this means more to me than anything."
"It is my pleasure to keep a family united, although you may not be thanking me when I tell you what comes next." I gave him a skeptical look and he kept talking. "You must leave immediatley ."
I was confused and only said "why".
"As you know there are audio and visual recorders all over the city, in every location apart from the private residences and for mine and your safety leaving as quickly as you know the plans will cause the most efficient escape. Any preparation or changes in behavior may cause you to be caught" he paused and continued "As you know my wife escaped after labor which they covered as a death so no one would get the idea escape is an option, those circumstances were only due to her inability to travel while pregnant as we planned our escape so late in the pregnancy which is also why I couldn't join her while you have the ability to leave now. I must inform you before I give you the plans I will be joining you, as I would like to be with my wife and son."
I didn't know what to say, I didn't know if I was ready to leave so soon but I knew this was my only option.
Troy grabbed my hand and spoke for both of us replying "We understand."
Xavier stood and told us to pack a single bag, as light as possible only things we would not be able to replace. As we did so I was unable to comprehend what was going on. Unable to believe this was real and grabbed , only a blanket I had made myself in year 7 of the facility as a reminder of what I would be saving my daughter from. Troy had grabbed a couple changes of clothes for each of us and our pictures from the day we were wed. It all fit into my largest purse with room left which I told troy not to fill as I thought looked more inconspicuous as I carried that purse often even though I rarely had much in it. We headed back out to see xavier he had grabbed all the protein and granola bars from our fridge as well as bottles of water and put them into our bag. I was doing the best I could to accept the circumstances and be grateful but truly I was scared. Troy looked at him and asked "How long until we arrive in our new home."
"About 24 hours from now, you must listen carefully to what I say next." He looked at our faces for confirmation before speaking again. " we will be at the pick up point in one hour, from there we will be placed in a car, drove to a dock where we will get on a boat the driver will identify for us. we must then get into the lower deck and sit. The boat will not head out for three hours we will then be taken to an island this journey could take up to 15 hours depending on the conditions. A man will be waiting for us on this island and he will give us further instruction." He didn't say anything else for a minute. We all knew the risk we were taking, if a recording operator were to see us at any point before getting to the bottom deck of the boat and realize our behavior was at all not normal we would be caught. I wasn't sure we would make it, I wasn't even sure it would be worth it in the end but I knew I had to try, an opportunity to spend your life with your child was unheard of but yet I was being granted a chance.
" I'm ready" I said staring into troy's eyes and he nodded at me.
Xavier walked to our front door without hesitation and said "Follow me, don't ask questions just do as I do." he then opened the door and headed through our building and out to the street. We kept a few paces behind him he turned at what seemed like every corner we would approach. After nearly 30 minutes of walking we came to a stop just outside what I believe was an old time parking garage. I talked to troy about how his hair was quite messier than usual and then saw a taxi coming from inside the garage. Xavier smiled and said "This is us." opening the door to sit in the passenger's seat and gesturing for us to get into the back seats. The car took off instantly the man driving not saying a single word. All of us too uncomfortable to speak. We seemed to sit there in silence for hours my hand on my stomach the whole time reminding myself who this was for. eventually I began to see the ocean for the first time in my life, it seemed to go on forever and completely took my breath away. I couldn't help but blurt out "It's beautiful" to which the man driving replied "Yes mam that is the pacific." His voice was different, very welcoming which I had not expected. I wondered if he was from wherever we were headed, but knew it was better not to ask. I began to realize I knew nothing about where we were heading. It all happened so quickly I didn't even think to ask. I wondered if Xavier knew either, or if he just trusted it was better than the life our children would have faced. The rest of the ride I wondered about this new place, what it would be like, how populated it would be, and wether it would truly be as great as I hoped.
Less than an hour later we arrived on a dock, the boats were much nicer than I had anticipated. I suppose that's because I had only seen a couple boats in my lifetime. He pointed to a white boat slightly smaller than the rest and spoke "Ya'll will have to get on there and open the latch to the lower level. I wouldn't recommend talkin until you feel it take off."
I was the last to get out of the car, we moved swiftly but carefully making sure we wouldn't raise any suspicion. As we approached the boat I realized the latch wasn't visible. We all looked for it with desperation on our faces. Just as soon as I saw Troy enter the boats control room I heard him call for us to join him. I walked into meet him and saw he had already opened the latch and a set of stairs led down into the lower deck. I realized It smelt quite strange as I headed down the stairs, not necessarily bad just foreign you could even say musky. I couldn't see a thing and held on tightly to troy who was infront of me. Once I reached the bottom I heard the loud thud of the latch closing and I felt troy grab my hand. It was hot, humid, and dark but all I could think about was how thankful I was that in 15 short hours I would be out of this boat and have a new life. I hadn't noticed Xavier wasn't near us until I was able to see again and saw him near a string connected to a small light bulb. The boat was much nicer than the smell would suggest. There were 2 small cots and a box. The room was roughly 10 ft x 10ft, made completely by wood and was empty other than those two things. The first thing I did was check in the box, there was only the meals I had learned in school the military used because it had a 5 year shelf life and only required water to make consumable. I pulled a few out and underneath I saw a gun, I quickly shut the box and didn't say a word not wanting to alarm anybody.
I sat on one of the cots and laid back Xavier spoke as I did so " We better sleep while we can, the oceans are rarely calm and once this boat sets off it will never be this still." We agreed and he turned off the light again. I felt troy get onto the cot with me, it was quite a tight fit but it would work. I laid there in the dark silence, listened to the light snores from troy and the deeper snores from Xavier. I laid and imagined what my future would be like, which made me a little unsure of whether this was the right decision. What if I would corrupt my daughter like the parents of the past? What if the place we are headed too isn't what she deserves? What if it's worse than the life she would of had? I knew nothing of caring for children, all I knew was the love I had for this baby was immeasurable. I knew going back wasn't an option. I couldn't. Being with my daughter would make me happier than anything I just have to devote myself to making her better just like I knew my parents would have done for me.
I'm not sure when but at some point I drifted off to sleep. I was awoken by foot steps a couple hours later. I held to troy knowing if that was anyone other than the driver of the boat we would be caught. He moved his fingers through my hair as he usually does to show me he's there for me and somehow this made it better. We laid for a couple nervous minutes before we heard an engine start and the boat jolt forward. I wasn't sure how fast boats were supposed to go but it seemed quite slow, at least much slower than a car. Then again I couldn't see outside of the room we were in to know for sure.
I turned on the light and sat on the floor. Troy joined me. Now that we were able to, we talked about everything we could think of, what we thought the new place would be like, we had very different ideas some of them even made me laugh. We talked for hours upon hours about everything from our future to our past. Xavier shifted every once in a while, I was unsure whether he was actually still sleeping or was listening to us speak. Eventually I ate a couple protein bars and started to feel a bit sleepy and fell asleep again. My head in troys lap and his hand intertwined with mine.
The rocking sea woke me up and troy was fast asleep, i was dazed as the one light bulb illuminating the room was flickering on and off, Xavier was nowhere to be found and the cot next to us had a mysterious blood stain near the pillow, it looked fresh. As I looked closer I saw a blood trail streaking across the boat floor leading to the stairs up to the dock. As a surge of sheer panic began to creep up from the bottom of my stomach I ran up the stairs bursting through the door. I saw a man at the wheel of the boat and I grabbed his shoulder, his limp body fell to the floor and a gaping cut was across his throat. I felt my heart stop for a split second before I began screaming out for Xavier who was nowhere to be seen. I ran around the upper deck of the boat. I heard foot steps approaching me from behind and turned around as swiftly as I could and saw Troy looking at me. His face appeared to be not only horrified but scared.
He spoke "What happened? Wheres Xavier, why is that man dead."
"I don't know, I really don't know. There was blood leading up the stairs and I followed it to the man. Xavier seems to have disappeared." As I said this I felt the tears running down my face, my voice croaking. He pulled me into his arms, just then we heard a helicopter above us. We both darted our heads in the direction and knew what had happened. They had found us the government had raided our boat earlier and saw us only they didn't kill me and troy because I was pregnant and luckily asleep on him. I ran to the control deck without thinking and pushed the lifeless corpse aside and took his seat. I pressed on the boats gas and yelled at troy who had run in just behind me .
"There's a gun in the box down stairs, go get it and look for ammunition anything. We will not let them have our child." he was so confused, but he didn't argue. Within minutes he was back into the room with me. " Shoot at them, try to aim the best that you can, shoot at anything that looks like it could bring them down." I could see the pain on his face but he did as I said, soon all I could hear were bullets flying out of his gun. With the adrenaline pumping through me I instinctively ran for cover while it seemed everything was falling apart. The helicopter neared closer to the boat shining a spotlight on Troy, as he was taking aim I couldn't look away; a single red beam appeared on his chest, as my eyes widened I barely had enough time to let out a shallow 'no'. My eyes blinked in reaction to the ringing shot, as Troy looked back at me with his jaw slack, he collapsed to his knees then fell forward onto the deck. Turning hysterical I ran back out. Grabbing his hand in mine my clothes started getting soaked in his blood, government agents began rappelling down and running towards me weapons drawn. Pulling me off of Troy's' corpse I could feel the cold grip of the handcuffs on me as they seized the boat.
I had lost all hope, everything I had was being taken from me. I did the only thing I could do and I began screaming. I wailed as they began trailing the boat behind the helicopter. All of this was to be a family, and that's exactly what I lost. As I sat with the agents guarding me on the trip back to the city the emotions racing through my mind only fueled my hatred for the government I was trying to escape from. Now widowed my life had been turned into a bitter sob story, my psyche collapsing like a falling house of cards. The agents didn't care who I was, they only saw me as a criminal trying to escape their perfect world, like a worn cog in a machine I was nothing but a dispensable number; Another statistic to teach others too blind to see the downfalls of the life they're expected to accept. My daughter would live the same life me, my parents, and their parents were forced to live. Never knowing me, her father or how much we were willing to do for her. I gave up everything for her and I would like to say it was a regret, but it was not it was merely just a failed attempt at the happiness of my family.vvvvvv
" I have to do something. I can't lose her." I said quietly in fear of someone else hearing me. I felt the tears pouring out of my eyes, knowing there was nothing I could do to stop the fate of my unborn child. The government would take her from me, because they had long ago blamed the parents for the misdeeds of humanity. They believed if they were to raise all children the same, to worship their rules and their ideals of what a person should be, this would fix the corruption that had overcome the world. Everyone was raised in a facility where freedom was scarce and obedience was your main expectation. What they didn't realize is the resentment it cause some of us to feel, mainly those of us whose parents chose to see us on our 18th birthdays.
I remember the day so vividly, I was almost certain they wouldn't come because so few would due to the fact they knew the government had already told you all the awful things that parents of the past had done to their children. That day a woman who I knew worked in the office section of my facility came to pull me out of my lesson. I was confused, scared I had done something wrong but reluctantly followed her down the hallway to this strange section of the building I had never been too since they didn't allow you to wonder. She stopped in front of the door at the very end of the hallway and spoke
"If at any point you feel the need to exit you may do so, this is not required of you."
"What isn't required of me?" I replied.
"You're parents are here to see you, this is your 18th birthday correct? You are Nora 9078?"
I nodded in response, feeling as if my heart had stopped causing me to be unable to speak.
"Please take as much time as you need, but be mindful you have an ongoing lesson you are missing."
She opened the door immediately giving me no time to prepare myself, I felt the urge to run as far away from the room as I could but my curiosity wouldn't let me, I was about the meet the people who I was created from. I stepped into the room it was cold and the walls were cement and there was a small camera in the corner of the room. I looked around and saw two people sitting on a grey couch. I locked eyes with a skinny frail looking man, his eyes opened wide when he saw me, he seemed almost excited. My eyes then switched to the woman next to him, I immediately saw a resemblance I hadn't with the man. She had the same gentle features as me although her face was lightly aged. She smiled at me, and gestured at the seat in front of her. I slowly moved not able to look away from them, unable to grasp that it was reality and sat down in the cushioned grey seat in front of them.
"Nora?" she said in a sweet inviting voice surprisingly different from mine.
I nodded at them.
The man spoke next " It is such a pleasure to meet you. As you must already be aware we are your parents. My name is Vincent." His voice was low and rough yet warm. He stuck out his hand, as if to shake mine but I couldn't bring myself to pull my hand up to meet his. The woman spoke to break the awkward moment just as he moved his hand back to his side.
"I am Lilith, although I do prefer Lily."
"Hello Vincent, Hello Lily." I murmured just loud enough to be audible to them.
Vincent then continued "Now I'm sure you're wondering what made us come today, to answer that we both agreed that seeing you was important to us. Whether you feel the resentment we felt of our own parents growing up we wanted to see you, we wanted to let you know that we have thought of you everyday."
Lilly then started talking her voice much lower than before " The hardest day of our life was when they took you from us, you were such a beautiful baby, you still are very beautiful. It's hard to believe it's only been 18 years since I last saw you it feels as if it's been a century. Please tell us about yourself ? "
Vincent immediately added on for her "Only if you feel comfortable with that."
I didn't speak for a moment, unsure of what to say. I didn't know what they wanted to hear but I felt that I should tell them something, at least the basics. Eventually I spoke " I'm majoring in Botany, I've been very fascinated with nature since I was a child. I'm to graduate from this facility in April and they have already located me to a botanical garden."
Vincent smiled while I spoke and quickly replied with "That is very interesting, me and your mother met while I was working in a botanical garden. I also am a botanist, your mother is an environmental scientist." I was shocked when he said this but I also found myself wanting to know more about these people, they allowed few scientist anymore as they were not necessary for survival only those who scored exceptionally would even be considered.
"Would you tell me about that, your work? I've seen few scientist and only one botanist never have I had a one on one discussion with them." I felt myself smile a bit as I got more comfortable with these circumstances, I could see that my curiosity of them also made them quite happy. They gladly spoke of their work, both of them started to fascinate me. They asked me questions about myself as well, which I gladly answered and I felt us starting to bond so quickly. I told them of my childhood, which they confirmed was nearly identical to theirs and we spoke of our similarities which there were so many more than all three of us had expected. I regretting being slightly cold to them in the beginning. We laughed together at some points, my mother even shed a few tears and the time flew by. By the time I had checked it again it had been way over an hour and the professor of my next lesson may be upset with me but I couldn't bring myself to leave the room not knowing if I would see these astounding people again. We continued to bond over our lives for a while until I realized I had already missed most of the lesson and knew if I stayed longer I may be penalized.
"I'm sorry to do this but I have to go, my lesson should be finishing soon. It was lovely meeting you I hope I do again. You are incredible people. You coming here today has meant alot to me." I said hesitantly not really wanting to finish the conversation.
My mother replied first "The pleasure was all ours, you're an astonishing and beautiful young woman. We hope to see you again as well. We wish you the best in the rest of your life." she stood as she finished and my father did as well then he spoke.
"This time has really meant a lot to us, you are always in our prayers and always will be. You will do exceptional things I am sure. Thank you so much for talking with us today it means more than you know."
After he finished he came up to me and hugged me, which was something I had done very rarely in my life but it felt nice. My mother hugged me after him, much tighter as though she couldn't bring herself to let me go. I could tell how much they cared for me, how much I really meant to these people, my parents who before this were strangers to me. I said goodbye one last time before I opened the door and left. I felt regret about leaving but knew I didn't have much of a choice.
I thought of them everyday afterwards, I didn't understand how people that compassionate and intelligent couldn't have gave me a life better than the one I was given. I found myself wondering for years how parents could be incapable of caring for their own children, when those people obviously cared a great deal about me and prior to that experience knew nothing about me other than our shared DNA. I told myself I would never have a child, I could never give away my child to have a life in a facility where your life revolved around only intellectual growth and obedience. Being taught your parents cared nothing about you when that simply wasn't true.
Yet seven years after that experience on my 25th birthday I found myself five months pregnant and scared I would never see my unborn child grow, my daughter never knowing how much its mother truly cared for her. Crying to my husband on the floor of our apartment, he wrapped me in his arms to hold me and pulled his fingers through my hair put his mouth to my ear and spoke as softly as he could.
"I've heard of a place quite far from here, where we could raise our child Nora."
I couldn't believe what he was saying, I couldn't believe that a place like that existed as far as anyone knew this was the only place, the only government.
"What are you saying? That can't be true." I whispered back
"It is, I know of a woman who went. I believe it was Xavier's wife."
"Xavier's wife died during labor." and then I realized how rare it was for women to actually die during labor, the last death similar had been over a decade before and never had it been the mother and the child. I then remembered how quickly Xavier had overcome that loss. "It can't be. She couldn't have, how is that possible?"
"I'm not sure, but I will find out. I have to."
"How do you know this?"
"I mentioned to him how hard of a time you were having. He walked me into the farthest part of the garden, he was so scared he could barely talk about it, although he said it was possible."
"Troy I wouldn't leave you ."
"Hopefully you won't have to my love, but you may not have a choice." he moved his mouth from my ear and spoke again at a much louder volume "Why don't we head to bed it's getting quite late."
"I suppose you're right." I said standing up and imagining for the first time a life where my child was mine. I prepared for bed, I slipped into my nightgown and crawled into bed full of hope. For the first night since the news of my pregnancy I was able to sleep uninterrupted.
The next day I woke early and prepared for work. Troy had already left, while we worked in the same garden we had very different jobs. He was a gardener, the best in the district, and he planted and prepared the flowers while I worked inside examining them. Mainly I've been studying how the pollution in other parts of the world affects them, creating synthetic environments we then place the plants in. After I prepared myself I made a quick salad and headed out. The work day seemed just like every other except today I was completely distracted. I had to prepare a particular environment four times and I could tell my assistant, Sevia, was quite concerned because she knew it was unlike me but said nothing most likely blaming it on the hormones.
When I arrived home Troy was nowhere to be seen, which didn't alarm me until the sun began to set. Millions of scenarios began to flash through my head and until I was very worked up. I was genuinely panicking scared he had been caught talking to Xavier, knowing that would mean I would never see him again. I decided the best thing to do would be to take a shower, knowing that would distract me. Although being alone under the running water only caused me to feel more overcome with the awful possibilities, as what happens to those who disobeyed is unknown. They are just never seen again. It was 3 hours after the sunset around 22:00 when I heard him come through the door, he was calm, almost too calm due to the fact he must have known I was worried. I was in the main room curled up on our red sofa distracting myself with a documentary about the past. He said hello and went to our room to switch out of his work uniform and when he came back his demeanor had changed, he was smiling, which caused me to as well. Immediately after I remembered my previous panic and questioned his whereabouts which he replied by telling me we needed to talk.
"Give me a second, I'll meet you in the bedroom." I said getting up and grabbing a cup of tea and bracing myself for what was to come. Then I followed him into the room and sat on the bed while he continued to stand.
"What is it?" I said pretending I was calm.
"I talked to Xavier. I arranged for the three of us to get together to discuss these circumstances. He says he will do everything in his power to help us." He then lowered his voice a considerable amount and said "we will be a family Nora."
I didn't reply, I just stood and wrapped my arms around him. I had a million questions but none of them needed answered immediately, all I needed to know right then was that I wouldn't lose my daughter. While I knew whatever it would take to find this magical place would be hard, I was willing to do anything and I just had to hope that was enough.
"Thank you." I said to him as I slowly released him from my grip.
"Don't thank me. this is for us Nora, I want this as bad as you do." He whispered into my ear "I'm sorry I was out so late I know you must have been concerned. I was talking to Xavier and then I took some time to think on my own about this. Before I knew it the time had flown by. "
"It's okay, everything's going to be okay." I smiled then continued " let's get some rest, so we can be awake when we discuss this tomorrow." I crawled under the covers pulling him into the bed with me. Wrapping myself in his body the best I could without applying pressure to our child. I began to doze off immediately, although just before sleep I heard a faint "I love you" leave the lips of his mouth. Once again I was able to sleep through the night.
I slept in later than I had in months, it was almost 11 but thankfully I didn't have work as it was saturday. I jumped in the shower and when I got out troy had surprised me by laying breakfast on our bed. Bacon and Eggs, my favorite. I changed and then ate it quickly. I heard voices from outside the room and knew Xavier must have already arrived. I prepared myself by taking a few deep breaths and opened the door, walking into the living room I saw him and troy sitting on the couch. the room was dark because they had pulled the blinds shut.
"Hello Nora, it's nice to see you." xavier said in a very happy manner "please sit".
I did as he asked and replied "I would just like to thank you before we begin talking, this means more to me than anything."
"It is my pleasure to keep a family united, although you may not be thanking me when I tell you what comes next." I gave him a skeptical look and he kept talking. "You must leave immediatley ."
I was confused and only said "why".
"As you know there are audio and visual recorders all over the city, in every location apart from the private residences and for mine and your safety leaving as quickly as you know the plans will cause the most efficient escape. Any preparation or changes in behavior may cause you to be caught" he paused and continued "As you know my wife escaped after labor which they covered as a death so no one would get the idea escape is an option, those circumstances were only due to her inability to travel while pregnant as we planned our escape so late in the pregnancy which is also why I couldn't join her while you have the ability to leave now. I must inform you before I give you the plans I will be joining you, as I would like to be with my wife and son."
I didn't know what to say, I didn't know if I was ready to leave so soon but I knew this was my only option.
Troy grabbed my hand and spoke for both of us replying "We understand."
Xavier stood and told us to pack a single bag, as light as possible only things we would not be able to replace. As we did so I was unable to comprehend what was going on. Unable to believe this was real and grabbed , only a blanket I had made myself in year 7 of the facility as a reminder of what I would be saving my daughter from. Troy had grabbed a couple changes of clothes for each of us and our pictures from the day we were wed. It all fit into my largest purse with room left which I told troy not to fill as I thought looked more inconspicuous as I carried that purse often even though I rarely had much in it. We headed back out to see xavier he had grabbed all the protein and granola bars from our fridge as well as bottles of water and put them into our bag. I was doing the best I could to accept the circumstances and be grateful but truly I was scared. Troy looked at him and asked "How long until we arrive in our new home."
"About 24 hours from now, you must listen carefully to what I say next." He looked at our faces for confirmation before speaking again. " we will be at the pick up point in one hour, from there we will be placed in a car, drove to a dock where we will get on a boat the driver will identify for us. we must then get into the lower deck and sit. The boat will not head out for three hours we will then be taken to an island this journey could take up to 15 hours depending on the conditions. A man will be waiting for us on this island and he will give us further instruction." He didn't say anything else for a minute. We all knew the risk we were taking, if a recording operator were to see us at any point before getting to the bottom deck of the boat and realize our behavior was at all not normal we would be caught. I wasn't sure we would make it, I wasn't even sure it would be worth it in the end but I knew I had to try, an opportunity to spend your life with your child was unheard of but yet I was being granted a chance.
" I'm ready" I said staring into troy's eyes and he nodded at me.
Xavier walked to our front door without hesitation and said "Follow me, don't ask questions just do as I do." he then opened the door and headed through our building and out to the street. We kept a few paces behind him he turned at what seemed like every corner we would approach. After nearly 30 minutes of walking we came to a stop just outside what I believe was an old time parking garage. I talked to troy about how his hair was quite messier than usual and then saw a taxi coming from inside the garage. Xavier smiled and said "This is us." opening the door to sit in the passenger's seat and gesturing for us to get into the back seats. The car took off instantly the man driving not saying a single word. All of us too uncomfortable to speak. We seemed to sit there in silence for hours my hand on my stomach the whole time reminding myself who this was for. eventually I began to see the ocean for the first time in my life, it seemed to go on forever and completely took my breath away. I couldn't help but blurt out "It's beautiful" to which the man driving replied "Yes mam that is the pacific." His voice was different, very welcoming which I had not expected. I wondered if he was from wherever we were headed, but knew it was better not to ask. I began to realize I knew nothing about where we were heading. It all happened so quickly I didn't even think to ask. I wondered if Xavier knew either, or if he just trusted it was better than the life our children would have faced. The rest of the ride I wondered about this new place, what it would be like, how populated it would be, and wether it would truly be as great as I hoped.
Less than an hour later we arrived on a dock, the boats were much nicer than I had anticipated. I suppose that's because I had only seen a couple boats in my lifetime. He pointed to a white boat slightly smaller than the rest and spoke "Ya'll will have to get on there and open the latch to the lower level. I wouldn't recommend talkin until you feel it take off."
I was the last to get out of the car, we moved swiftly but carefully making sure we wouldn't raise any suspicion. As we approached the boat I realized the latch wasn't visible. We all looked for it with desperation on our faces. Just as soon as I saw Troy enter the boats control room I heard him call for us to join him. I walked into meet him and saw he had already opened the latch and a set of stairs led down into the lower deck. I realized It smelt quite strange as I headed down the stairs, not necessarily bad just foreign you could even say musky. I couldn't see a thing and held on tightly to troy who was infront of me. Once I reached the bottom I heard the loud thud of the latch closing and I felt troy grab my hand. It was hot, humid, and dark but all I could think about was how thankful I was that in 15 short hours I would be out of this boat and have a new life. I hadn't noticed Xavier wasn't near us until I was able to see again and saw him near a string connected to a small light bulb. The boat was much nicer than the smell would suggest. There were 2 small cots and a box. The room was roughly 10 ft x 10ft, made completely by wood and was empty other than those two things. The first thing I did was check in the box, there was only the meals I had learned in school the military used because it had a 5 year shelf life and only required water to make consumable. I pulled a few out and underneath I saw a gun, I quickly shut the box and didn't say a word not wanting to alarm anybody.
I sat on one of the cots and laid back Xavier spoke as I did so " We better sleep while we can, the oceans are rarely calm and once this boat sets off it will never be this still." We agreed and he turned off the light again. I felt troy get onto the cot with me, it was quite a tight fit but it would work. I laid there in the dark silence, listened to the light snores from troy and the deeper snores from Xavier. I laid and imagined what my future would be like, which made me a little unsure of whether this was the right decision. What if I would corrupt my daughter like the parents of the past? What if the place we are headed too isn't what she deserves? What if it's worse than the life she would of had? I knew nothing of caring for children, all I knew was the love I had for this baby was immeasurable. I knew going back wasn't an option. I couldn't. Being with my daughter would make me happier than anything I just have to devote myself to making her better just like I knew my parents would have done for me.
I'm not sure when but at some point I drifted off to sleep. I was awoken by foot steps a couple hours later. I held to troy knowing if that was anyone other than the driver of the boat we would be caught. He moved his fingers through my hair as he usually does to show me he's there for me and somehow this made it better. We laid for a couple nervous minutes before we heard an engine start and the boat jolt forward. I wasn't sure how fast boats were supposed to go but it seemed quite slow, at least much slower than a car. Then again I couldn't see outside of the room we were in to know for sure.
I turned on the light and sat on the floor. Troy joined me. Now that we were able to, we talked about everything we could think of, what we thought the new place would be like, we had very different ideas some of them even made me laugh. We talked for hours upon hours about everything from our future to our past. Xavier shifted every once in a while, I was unsure whether he was actually still sleeping or was listening to us speak. Eventually I ate a couple protein bars and started to feel a bit sleepy and fell asleep again. My head in troys lap and his hand intertwined with mine.
The rocking sea woke me up and troy was fast asleep, i was dazed as the one light bulb illuminating the room was flickering on and off, Xavier was nowhere to be found and the cot next to us had a mysterious blood stain near the pillow, it looked fresh. As I looked closer I saw a blood trail streaking across the boat floor leading to the stairs up to the dock. As a surge of sheer panic began to creep up from the bottom of my stomach I ran up the stairs bursting through the door. I saw a man at the wheel of the boat and I grabbed his shoulder, his limp body fell to the floor and a gaping cut was across his throat. I felt my heart stop for a split second before I began screaming out for Xavier who was nowhere to be seen. I ran around the upper deck of the boat. I heard foot steps approaching me from behind and turned around as swiftly as I could and saw Troy looking at me. His face appeared to be not only horrified but scared.
He spoke "What happened? Wheres Xavier, why is that man dead."
"I don't know, I really don't know. There was blood leading up the stairs and I followed it to the man. Xavier seems to have disappeared." As I said this I felt the tears running down my face, my voice croaking. He pulled me into his arms, just then we heard a helicopter above us. We both darted our heads in the direction and knew what had happened. They had found us the government had raided our boat earlier and saw us only they didn't kill me and troy because I was pregnant and luckily asleep on him. I ran to the control deck without thinking and pushed the lifeless corpse aside and took his seat. I pressed on the boats gas and yelled at troy who had run in just behind me .
"There's a gun in the box down stairs, go get it and look for ammunition anything. We will not let them have our child." he was so confused, but he didn't argue. Within minutes he was back into the room with me. " Shoot at them, try to aim the best that you can, shoot at anything that looks like it could bring them down." I could see the pain on his face but he did as I said, soon all I could hear were bullets flying out of his gun. With the adrenaline pumping through me I instinctively ran for cover while it seemed everything was falling apart. The helicopter neared closer to the boat shining a spotlight on Troy, as he was taking aim I couldn't look away; a single red beam appeared on his chest, as my eyes widened I barely had enough time to let out a shallow 'no'. My eyes blinked in reaction to the ringing shot, as Troy looked back at me with his jaw slack, he collapsed to his knees then fell forward onto the deck. Turning hysterical I ran back out. Grabbing his hand in mine my clothes started getting soaked in his blood, government agents began rappelling down and running towards me weapons drawn. Pulling me off of Troy's' corpse I could feel the cold grip of the handcuffs on me as they seized the boat.
I had lost all hope, everything I had was being taken from me. I did the only thing I could do and I began screaming. I wailed as they began trailing the boat behind the helicopter. All of this was to be a family, and that's exactly what I lost. As I sat with the agents guarding me on the trip back to the city the emotions racing through my mind only fueled my hatred for the government I was trying to escape from. Now widowed my life had been turned into a bitter sob story, my psyche collapsing like a falling house of cards. The agents didn't care who I was, they only saw me as a criminal trying to escape their perfect world, like a worn cog in a machine I was nothing but a dispensable number; Another statistic to teach others too blind to see the downfalls of the life they're expected to accept. My daughter would live the same life me, my parents, and their parents were forced to live. Never knowing me, her father or how much we were willing to do for her. I gave up everything for her and I would like to say it was a regret, but it was not it was merely just a failed attempt at the happiness of my family.
YOU ARE READING
For her
Teen FictionA mother must choose between a life without her daughter or risk everything
