"Woah----woah----look!" laughed James, balancing a Chocolate Frog on the end of his nose. It stood for about two seconds before toppling onto his waiting tongue. I laughed, reached for a Frog and abruptly stopped, catching sight of King's Cross Station appearing on the horizon out of our compartment window on the Express. James and Remus blinked, confused at my abrupt mood.
"Padfoot?" James ventured.
Remus followed my stare to the Station, which was steadily growing larger, and his mouth twisted sympathetically. He came to sit by me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "You won't have to stay there long," he said in a comforting voice, squeezing my arm. "Just a few weeks, then you can escape to James's place, right?"
My throat closed up, and I tried to breathe. Just for a few weeks, right? I'd be okay. I'd be fine! I'd get through it.
No, I wouldn't.
"He's a Death Eater, Remus!" I shouted suddenly, and buried my face in my hands, despair rising in my throat. "A Death Eater! How am I supposed live with him?!"
Remus gently pried my hands away from my face and James came and sat by me, putting his hand on my knee. "Sirius,"James said slowly. "Are you going to let it get to you?"
I didn't answer.
"Is that a yes?"
"No," I muttered. "I don't know, mate. You have no idea. I can't even look at a belt without cringing. Your parents---your family---," I broke off as the train squealed to a stop. We were there already?
Peter, James, and Remus exchanged significant glances. I stood up, grabbed my trunk and my great grey owl's cage and trudged out of our compartment, stopping at the exit of the train. James nudges me forward softly.
"Whatever happens," James said in a low voice, "will happen. But no matter what, you go deal with it with your chin up high, you hear me? Don't let them see that they get to you."
Remus clapped my shoulder. "We'll see you soon." Peter offered me an encouraging smile, and I shakily stepped out of the train. "Keep in touch!" called James over his shoulder, and they disappeared into the crowd. I swallowed, and spotted my mother near the front compartments, helping Regulus with his things. I froze at the sight of Regulus, looking so calm and innocent standing next to my mother with his trunk and tawny owl and his shiny prefect's badge twinkling on his lapel as if he'd been at school the whole time. Where had he been hiding so close to Hogwarts that he'd been able to take the Express out?
I clenched my jaw, and pulled my trunk across the platform. "Hello, Mother," I managed, bracing myself. She turned around and glared up at me, her steely eyes boring into mine.
"Sirius," she growled. "Where have you been, you good-for-nothing oaf? I was looking for you."
"I was trying to find you, I got lost," I muttered, examining the toes of my boots.
"Look at me while I'm talking to you!" My mother snapped, jerking my chin upward. "Cut your hair, you look like a---,"
"Mother," Regulus cut in, having appeared, avoiding my gaze. "May we leave now? I've got all my things."
"I suppose we better," the old hag replied, shooting me another nasty look. "Get your disgraceful behind moving," she spat at me, and she flounced off, her expensive robes billowing behind her. I ground my teeth and followed, headed for what was shaping up to be a very dismal summer indeed.
I threw open the door to my grand, gloomy, silk-walled room, throwing my trunk on my bed, and shut the door. I climbed onto my bed, opened my trunk and took out some parchment and a quill. I began to write a letter.
