In school the next day I refused to look sorry with Dena for what had happened yesterday with Gabriel.
“Daniela you can’t act that way. Like I told you yesterday we are not children any more. You are going to be… well you know what soon. You have to set a good example and try to control your emotions.” She said to me while walking inside our class.
“I know that the way he acted was unpleasant but…”
“Unpleasant?” I said angrily taking my sit in class.
“He humiliated me Dena” I hisses in anger and hurt, “ he was mean and cruel toward my feeling that first month, why should I give a thing for how he feels.”
“He’s your future husband Daniela give him a chance” she whispered, as the bell rang for 2nd period and our attention wonder off to the teacher, who was already calling role.
During the day I focus on school trying to forget about Gabriel, court, and everything else. In lunch I sat alone, away from everyone. Once it was over Dena asked where I had gone, in the process bringing back Gabriel. Glad that we didn’t have the same teacher for 4th period, I said I was going to be late and left.
After class Dena brought the subject again as we walk to our lockers. “Dena stop, I don’t want to talk about him any more okay” I said annoyed.
“Fine but try to give him a chance he is a nice…”
I looked to where she was staring, and I wanted to die. Gabriel was embracing Debora who was passionately kissing him back. Everyone passing by turned from him to me. Waiting for me to pulled them apart or make a scene. But I did neither; the way they stood together seemed perfect. I was the one out of place in the picture. But that didn’t change the jealous spark that came to me in that moment. The hurt and anger came swiftly back inside of me as if it had never left or weakened. On the contrary, the hurt seemed to of had built inside of me more. Then he pulled away from her, for the first time noticing the people staring.
“What?” he said angrily turning to the all that were staring. Debora saw me first and smile. When he saw their gaze go to me he froze. By this time I had seen enough.
“He’s nice guy right?” I asked in a whisper to Dena refusing to acknowledge him.
She didn’t look at me, feeling to guilty. Without a word I kept walking, fighting back the tears that seemed to want to overwhelm me. I calmly walk away not daring to give them the satisfaction if my discomforted.
Dena followed me to my locker. “Daniela look I’m sorry” she said guilty, as she watched me put my stuff away. “I thought that he was a nice guy. I mean yesterday he was asking me about..”
“Dena drop it.” I said flatly, as she flinched in response to my tone. “ I don’t care anymore, okay. He isn’t worth it, so whatever he said to you, forget it.” Closing my locker I left. Once outside of the school I ran.
Running was my main focus right now. It made me feel better to have the wind on my face. Running was like my therapy, it always help me calm myself and to stop thinking about everything other than the feel of the wind, the ground, and my body. I ran not knowing were, but my sense of reason was lost, replace with the desire to not stop and think. The faster I ran the easier it was to forget. The easier life seemed to be. The easier my life seemed normal again.
An hour later, I found myself in the woods heading to the river. Once there I stopped to catch my breath, taking in the surroundings. Once my heart stopped galloping, I lay down on the grass, wishing everything would all just be a dream. But like everyone else knew, there was no point crying over spill milk. The trees surrounding the river distracted me. There seemed to be some wind as the branches moved in a slow rhythm back and forth. Maybe it was better like this; I mean Gabriel had the right to love someone else. But that didn’t change how I felt about him, because I still wanted him to love me or well at least care. Closing my eyes I heard the smooth sound that the river made as water hit rock, and the noise it made calmed me into a deep sleep.
When I woke up at first I was lost. Then I remember what had happened. Looking up at the sky I could tell l was going to be in trouble when I got home. Well at this point why did I care, I mean it isn’t like I was doing something wrong. Standing up I ran to my house which was two miles away.
Once there I walk to the front only to be stopped by my father who came out of the house looking all mad.
“Were have you been? Do you even know what time it is? Your mother and I have been worried sick” he said.
“Sorry I forgot my cell phone in school” I said walking pass him to the house.
Once inside I noticed we had visitors. Sitting in our living room where Gabriel and his parents Mr. and Mrs. Jacques with their younger son Abel who I gave my greetings. When they saw me they stood up. My mother who had been sitting on the corner chair was now standing in front of me asking me where I had been.
“I was in the river” I said honestly, seeing no point in lying to them.
With a disapproval look from both my parents I sat down in no time the conversation resume. Gabriel and I refused to make eye contact with each other, if anyone thought it odd, it was not noticed. I still held a grudge against him for he put me through the first month and then what happened in school. Just thinking about it made me feel hurt.
Our parents kept the conversation light on business, family, and of course Gabriel and I. “I was thinking that the ceremony should be held on winter break” Gabriel’s mom suggested.
“Yes, I agreed with you Martha. That way people in school won’t noticed anything different,” my mother said.
“What do you think George,” Gabriel’s father said to mine smiling.
“Well I don’t see how we are going to win a battle against our wives” my dad teased. “You got that right” Gabriel’s dad said laughing.
All the while they planned the ceremony, not noticing mine or Gabriel’s discomfort and lack of interests about the topic.
By the time they left both our mothers had already plan the whole thing with little advise from our fathers who would talk about something else that didn’t involved flowers, tables, and people invited.
When we said our goodbyes Gabriel lean to me and said “we need to talk,” and then as if nothing had been mentioned turned around and left.
After a brief warning from my parents about the incident earlier and my heated response, on the fact that I was already eighteen and responsible for my choices I left upstairs. Once in my room I took a shower and then said goodnight to my parent. Back in my room I laid wondering about what he wanted to say. I thought about that morning and realized that he owned me nothing other than respect. After all, despite my own feelings, Gabriel was of course owner of his heart and had the right to give it to who ever he wished. If he did not love me than that was a cross I was to bare.
