Summer

Summer 1

I remember Summer so well.... All the warmth and love. I would hold her tender hands as we danced and twirled through the meadow, lit by the tangerine evening sun. Her eyes on mine and mine on hers. Not a single worry in mind or hardship in heart. Our yellow linen blouses would swing from side to side as we shook our waists and jumped in the warm, silent air. They were faded, they were torn but they have been loved. I could feel the gentle wind flow across my thighs and the ever so faint smell of orchids growing not too far away. Over the hill, was a tiny wooden shed, worn and stained. Across the arc of the doorway read "Hutchinson and Son's" an old farming shed used to house pigs and horses. To many it would be garbage, a tiny speck of dust on the surface of the earth, forgotten by time. To us, it was life, it was home.

As the sun set into the black horizon, I searched for whatever scraps that were left. A few slices of bread and a few left over beans. We sat face to face on cold steel barrels, she looked at me with lenses wider than the meaning of life itself. Her features were like none other, rosy lips, pale purple eyes and a smile that would take the world's heart away. I told her, clenching my stomach " Go ahead honey, dig in, mommy isn't hungry tonight" Without hesitation, her gaze shifted to the plate in front of her. She rushed in for the bread and stuffed her mouth with the beans. I watched with desire, suppressing my mind which was slowly taking over my starving body. In an instant, she looked up at me, crumbs around her lips, dirt on her chin. Handing me what ever was left on her plate, she said "I love you mommy." I broke into tears, stood up and held her featherlight body in my arms. If only I had made the right choices in life, If only I had listen to those that cared and not consume myself in all the pride and prejudices.

On cold nights like this, I would hold on to her with my life. Desperately trying to keep her warm, desperately trying to hold on to Summer for a little while longer. I could feel her delicate heartbeat against the front of my chest, all the innocence and compassion that flowed in her veins. As we both lay on the stiff dry hay, our dreams slowly came over us like a big shadow. Engulfing us in all it's intensity and infinity. I knew that when it came, it would never leave. At that moment, I felt a thud in my own heart, a call to arms, a decree to stand up in strength and so I did. As I opened my eyes, reality seeped back in and Summer was not next to me but in the arms of a dark figure. He had a face I couldn't describe and around him was darkness I've yet to experience. A burst of adrenaline fired off in my system as I ran straight towards the shadow, who's stood as still as a wall.

As I neared him, I reached my arms out and in that instant, at the verge of my reach, I could feel Summer's warmth once again.... A flash of light blinded me and I lost the touch of Summer. As the blinding light subsided I saw blood on the dark figure's face. Two loud thuds sounded from beneath me and as I looked down on my arms, all I could see were two clear cut stumps and on the floor lie my forearms with my palms facing me. At that moment there was no pain. All I could think of was Summer who amongst the dark being, was radiant and brilliantly emanating. I knew at that moment that I had lost her.... That I had lost my sweet, sweet Summer. Tears started to roll out of my sockets, and the light in the room started to slip away from me.

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I feel as though centuries have gone... as if I had lost all the opportunities in my life to speak to Summer, to see her grow up, to love her and to know her. Not a day has past that I've not thought of her. I stroll past the tall white buildings of the capital. Streets filled with vibrant and lively people, wondering through the day, searching for their own meaning. As I dragged my feet into the town square, I heard the faint yell of a person.... No, it was a preacher. "Over here! Sign up today! Sign up for joy! Sign up for future's summers!". I followed the enthusiastic chants and I was met with a young fellow with a sign hung around his neck. Written in bold blue letters, "Set yourself free of the current day and save yourself for the future". I looked at him, thinking back to the night it all happened. I knew my body was wasted, my soul robbed of all it's hope and life. I looked at the boy with my darkened eyes and I took the leap of faith. On the day I passed, no one morned, no one cared, there was no funeral, no music. It was just me with needles in my arm, and my body in an iron plated casket.

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A spark appeared in the centre of all the darkness. I woke from my deep slumber. Could it be real? The spark grew and became brighter, I could feel my legs! I could feel my.... hands. As the light condensed and my vision recovered, I sat up. I looked down on my limbs. They were odd... Human, but odd. I glanced around me and all I saw was an imager at the centre of the room, hung from the ceiling. There was something about it that drew me towards it. Without a conscious thought, my legs started to shuffle their way towards it, step by step I grew closer and closer. Anxious I was to lay my eyes on the long gone me. As I peered into the mirror, I saw the reflection of a beautiful and strong woman. My hair was lush, by complexion near heavenly. I looked young, I looked cheerful, I looked alive, I looked......I paused in angst! For I realised that what I saw was not me. The angst turned to fear and fear turned to sorrow! I screeched at the top of my lungs! I threw my fists at the glass desperately trying to break it, I sobbed and I weeped and I begged for whatever mercy the universe still had for me! For as I peered into the mirror I saw.........rosy lips, pale purple eyes and a smile that would take the world's heart away.. She was so near but so far away! For the rest of my existence, I would see her but never know her... I would be her but never live her.... Her name is Summer and she will never come.