Oblivion

Not by any means necessary do I believe you would find him perfect but with that said I will share with you one thing. He's everything I want, my Kind of Perfect if you will. Though I'm permitted to do all things of the normal human body I stand paralyzed. No movement in my limbs, no air escaping or entering my lungs, and every word I have accumulated in my mind seems to have left me. Once again my thoughts have taken me to a place where only I can think, where all otherworldly restraints fall the way to Oblivion and I am left a martyr to my emotions. I hate this place it's filled with him, his chocolate brown eyes and enticing gaze. It's filled with memories of the way I used to feel, something I've worked so hard to push away. when I come here I am reminded of how imperfect I truly am and not only that but the hatred he made me feel for myself and even after all the horrible things he's done my undying love stands strong. I often wonder if I'm completely insane somewhere deep down. There is this quote that I frequently repeat to myself: "and so the lion fell in love with the lamb", this was an astonishing way to describe our love destined for disaster, odd, and some may even say insane, though we functioned as though we were both oblivious to this. Everything fell apart that day and my last image of him was pure lifelessness. Stiff with glossy eyes and An Empty Soul. They say I did it...... I cannot remember. We'd been drinking, there were empty voids in my mind where images should have been. Not only did I lose him that night I lost myself. I sit in the same chair everyday and I lay in that same bed every night. I live in the home we bought together many years ago, I'm old and gray now incapable of doing even the simplest things. They talk to me as if I'm able to respond but just as I said before I cannot speak for I've never mustered the right words and I cannot move for Im moved from place to place by the aid of others. I'm trapped in this body, destined to die just as he did, but until then I remain lost in the Oblivion that is my mind.