Lapis, a Crystal Gem || Steven Universe

Chapter 1

I awoke to the brushing waves of blue against the coarse sand. The sound carried mixed feelings, of both comfort and insanity. Where was I? What was I doing here? How do I get home? I rose up, shaking, wishing there was something I could grab on to. But I was alone, with no one to latch on to and nothing to grasp. I was alone.

I spend about 10 minutes walking along this beautiful coast, thinking, and trying to remember what just happened. The water was glistening, dazzling my field of vision with its depth and prestige. I stopped in place, and slowly my memory came flooding back to me.

"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!"
The ocean was cold. My body was submerged in its depths, wriggling and prying my way out of the shackles that were binding my soul.
"WE CAN WIN! WHY MUST YOU CHAIN US LIKE THIS? WE CAN DO BETTER!"
My grip was slipping, my accuracy was faltering. I failed at my attempt of imprisonment.
"I'M SORRY STEVEN!"

The cold shackles of water withdrew there embrace from my tired wrists. My weeks of fusion finally felt like they were coming to an end. I was losing control and I felt like a failure.
I let down Steven, and I thought to my self in horror, that I was a disgrace to all gemkimd. As I slowly broke away from Jasper, I blacked out.

I remember endlessly drifting through the ocean, not knowing where I was going, aimlessly flowing in the never ending depths of water. I couldn't go back to Homeworld, I was a traitor. I couldn't go back to Steven, because I failed him. All I could do was retreat back to my thoughts, as I did for the many years before this.
...

"My diamond."
"My subject, as you know, there is a war taking place on the vile planet known as Earth. I send you as a messanger to bring me back information that is actually useful. The last lapis I had sent brought back nothing but broken shards of her comrades. She pleased with me to fix them, crying at my pedestal, but what I did for her was nothing out of pity. I loathed the sight of her, she didn't even do the task I sent her to do. So I shattered her! I hope that you will not make the same mistake, or you shall have the same fate."
"Yes my diamond, I shall not fail you....."
...

The city I was in seemed familiar, as it had various buildings and structures that I had definitely seen before. But the most uncanny of them all was the beautiful carving of a gem maiden, adorning various gems on her figure.

I knew where I was, and I had to leave. I began to take flight, and produced my water wings, but they immediatly gave out. I was too drained to even produce water! I guess Jasp.. I can't even think of her, really took a toll on me. I didn't think I could go any further. I began to cry. I was stuck on this damned planet, and I was cursed to be tormented by my memories forever. I grabbed the sand and felt it interlace my fingers. I stared at my reflection in the salty water. The water was surprisingly calm. Did it not know the turmoil that it was harboring only a few days ago?

My inner worries were getting the best of me, I either shatter myself for neglegance, or face the consequences of failure to the crystal gems. I decided the latter one would be my best option. At least I would be able to face Steven in person.

I slowly got up quivering with every step, and limped my way up the wooden stairs. I knew it was time to give up. I tried my best, but I in the end I wasn't good enough. I mustered all of my remaining strength to knock on the door. Three quick knocks decide my fate. No answer. Maybe they were on a mission? I didn't know, but what I did know is that I had plenty of time to wait.

I went back to the cool sand, and lied down, preparing for the worst, as I succumbed into a needed sleep.