#24 Dear old self

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I can't do it
I can't go back to who I am once upon a time
I've tried multiple times to convince myself that everything was impossible.
That I could fly like birds but could talk.

I wanted to go back to plain old grade 8 me.
To be known as the quiet smart girl
But I can't bring myself to do thst
I can't go back to where I was never heard.

Being me might be hard now
But anything is better than feeling alone and unwanted
It's a pool full of people.

But I want to be alive again
I want to smile and it wouldn't be forced
I want to go back to when everything was fun.
I want the old me back
The me that would laugh every single day
The me that didn't care about her dress size
The me that always felt beautiful and didn't have to try.

I'm done trying to be someone I'm not
And done trying to go back
Now,now I'm being a new me,
The improved me.

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